Ek Kathak Aur Uski Kathayen

Originality AND Timing

2008-12-13T13:31:00.003+05:30

Once Dan spoke of Timing making up for an un-original joke, and then I wrote about this brilliant Original joke which didn't make anyone laugh. The point being the tug of war in originality and timing, something like a Heisenberg momentum and position war or whatever that was.

Well, after a long walk in the woods, getting to my point, Dan - yeah, the one and only - has come up with somethhing really lovely that comes at the most brilliant time after a superfucked MCP paper and is brilliantly Original - Con diffidence! Feel confident!

Needless to say, Danny, Love your poetry. You're the best poet they ever can see. (Ever thought of publishing a book? I'll buy :) )

And, here's another crisis...

2008-12-09T10:09:00.005+05:30

... or Such is the life of a Graduate Student.

First was the sub-prime crisis. (Okay, this has nothing to do with the current crisis, but hear me out.)
Then came the Financial Crisis. (Well, at least this follows logically from the point above.)
Then came the Academic Crisis. And it came in sinusoidal wave functions, recursive functions, goto statements (bad coding practice, btw), and what have you. (I never said I'm co-relating any of the above, or maybe I am. Hear me out. Please). Oh, and you can fathom the magnitude of the crisis' (the academic ones) because I was actually offering Starbucks in return of encouragement. (Yeah, that bad. And I ain't a billionaire, yet.)

And in the next chronology of events, (And please do not mistake chronology for causation, because as a 'Young MBA student', I wouldn't appreciate any fallacious reasoning you will indulge in post reading this.) And, I just lost the sentence (Like, "we just lost the beat"... it's a line somewhere in "We didn't start the fire (I know I'm going into nested thought loops - this one will close two parenthesis.))

Coming back to the point (Too much deviation... need to look into the metrics of average words per non-fiction blog post), the next in the chronology of events is the Clothes Crisis! Sigh. I have run out of wearable clothes. Either they are in the laundry, or in the laundry. That ways! End of story. So early in the morning, my roomie looks at me, and bursts into fits of laughter. Then my Cannie walks into class and starts laughing, then people ask me weird arse questions. Only if I had gone to the laundry yesterday evening. Sigh. Well... Such, is the life of a graduate student.

A passing thought...

2008-12-07T22:15:00.000+05:30

I wonder what's with me and exams. And why is it that I suddenly become prolific when exams are around? Back in the engineering days, I blogged the most around crucial academic milestones like submissions, exams, presentations etc. Now I find myself blogging while MCP is in suspended animation. :(

Could this have anything to do with Structured Procrastination? Or just sheer resistance to accept the superiority of ambition over laziness?

Lost, and found...

2008-12-06T12:45:00.006+05:30

... in 135 minutes.

Its been almost 4 months, and I haven't seen this city yet. In fact, if I were to venture more than a couple of blocks away from school, I'd be lost. Which, incidentally, is precisely what happened yesterday. And it was tragic, because I consider myself to have a very good sense of direction, (Yeah, joker, you're an outlier, therefore I'm ignoring you for the sake of general sanity.)

For quite some time I could see the skyscrapers of the central business district, and knew I was close to home, if not quite at it. And after some time, I find myself in weird streets, and I'm flummoxed. I come to an intersection that said "Quezon City" to the right and "Pasay City" to the left. And I had to goto Makati. Confusing. So I re-read the board, and the one that said "Pasay City" said, "via EDSA" and I remember EDSA as the station where we had taken the train to Tagaitay for. Phew.

So I carry on, and find myself in a place that was lined with what could be small houses, except the boards outside them read "Family rooms available", "Rooms No charge" and "Rooms available - P75 per hear per hour". The business student in me is trying to make sense out of this. Trust me, it doesn't. At the end of the day, the people who would use the rooms are going to indulge in potential family making activities, so which one would they choose? I'll bet the one that says "Family rooms", after all they have a 50% off on Happy hours too. (Well, I walked by again, when the business student was really flummoxed.). It makes more sense, specially if you're kinky, you wouldn't want to spend at per head per hour rates. (Disclaimer: I assume. I wouldn't really know if there is a point of indifference depending on the number of people w.r.t the family rooms.)

By now, I'm curious, but the place was kind of down market and didn't want to spend too much time, lest my previously mentioned fears of getting lost (which I was) and mugged (which I potentially could be) come true. After what seemed like an eternity, or about half an hour (depending on which of my personalities had taken over at that point in time), I saw something that said "Starbucks". Given that it made business sense to operate in locations where you are able to recover your fixed costs, and that Starbucks is expensive coffee, I knew happy hours were coming closer. (Or I was about to find my way back home.) Then came another, and a third and the skyscrapers in view... and in an hour after the first Starbucks, I was at a walkway that led to GreenBelt. And home. Finally.

Lost, and Found, in 135 minutes!

Totally out of context

2008-12-05T17:06:00.003+05:30

The other day I was chatting with this friend -
(paraphrased, because the chat was somehow off the record)

Me: How's the term coming along?
Friend: Coming along well.
Me: So, this would be your second trimester?
Friend: Yes. The second trimester.

In a totally different context, or in no context, you'd think she were pregnant. Heh.
Just for the record, the conversation refers to the MBA. :-)

How to transition to a good graduate student.

2008-11-28T09:11:00.007+05:30

An undergraduate students always attached a certain relevance to grades. So as an undergrad I would "need" to talk about what a dilligent engineer I am, a First Class with Distinction, no less. Then you internalise it so much, that the most naural conversation that you would have at, say, an airport waiting lounge -

"Hey! I'm Mathi, and you are?"

"First Class with Distinction"

"Err... Hi. What do you do for a living?"

"First Class with Distinction"

"Oh. What's that?"

"First Class with Distinction"

"Funny. You've got some sense of humor"

"Uh? Yeah. That's because I am a First Class with Distinction"

And so on...

So after a 99.90 percentile in the XAT, with well balanced sectional scores ranging from 98.66 to 98.90 you enter graduate school with the idea of making your mark, making eye popping points, decimating the curve, graduating with the highest honors possible, speaking such gyan... so much that ordinary mortals feel scared to stand within a one kilometer radius else the blinding light of your brilliance would leave them blind, or probably burn them to dust with the white hot intensity of a couple of shining suns, or something like that. After a couple of quizzes and exams you accept there's no point in aiming for the dean's list. Then it gets down to a high pass. And finally "fuck 'em. As long as I pass the fuckin' course".

Congratulations, you're now a complete graduate student.

Goodbye's

2008-11-27T04:03:00.006+05:30

The worst part about good bye's is that they hit you rather late, like an amnesic patient, and then you come to your senses. It's kind of weird, in the transition period you never realise something is changing - if I remember my chemistry right (don't groan), when an electron transits to a higer level there is a lot of energy that is released ( That's why LED's emit light, right?) - so probably the energy of the transition kind of takes away from the reality of the good bye.

There's this song by Vitamin C called "Friends Forever" that me and Revy (and the others who were forced to travel with us. Heh.) used to listen during the SomeRat and then the BE project days (yeah, an eternity ago) - kind of sums up the whole feeling real well.

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Mathi Boy, Revy Baby, Charlie, Danny, Sai, G, Pearl (yeah, you too) - Missing you guys. :((

P.S: Yes jokers, the reality of me being in Manila has hit me now.

P.P.S: Revati, we're 25 now. It seemed like it will never come, back then, when we were 20/21!

Arbit

2008-11-21T23:34:00.004+05:30

A red cycle.
Broken toys.
Old Books.
The rope in the corner.
The shoes near the door.
Ready to run.

"Why do you want her back, she, who was never yours?"
"Only to tell her what I never did - Don't go so far away that I can't see you any more"

Reading too much into secondary data makes people say...

2008-11-20T00:23:00.005+05:30

"Because of cheap labor, the population of Malaysia is growing, and therefore the segment (corporate accounts, btw) is growable".

Brilliant! No? (and it wasn't even me who made that statement. Damn.)
1. Because of cheap labor the population is growing?
I think Cheap labor -> Poverty -> lots of time to make babies?
2. Because population is growing, the segment of corporate accounts is growing?
I think it must be my medication. I need to start taking it again...

Another one does "Psycho Graphics" on his slides.
And then tests whether the segment is "Realizable"!

Marketing rocks!

A research question for the "MBA types"

2008-10-14T10:55:00.005+05:30

I was apparently studying for a quiz on Liabilities as part of LOB, and a friend over gtalk decided to initiate me into Banking history. At the end of the conversation, we came up with a research question for anyone who wishes to take it up -

If PoK = Goldwest, Pak == Wachovia, China == Citi, Russia == Fargo, India == JPMC, then the question is, "Who gets nuked first, and how did JPMC manage this?"

Cheat: The answer is not US.
Bonus 1: Why is the answer not US.
Bonus 2: Identify why India == JPMC.
Bonus 3: (To help C programmers pass the quiz) :What's with "=="?

Now of course you know what they mean when they say "An empty mind is a devil's workshop. Who's the "they" btw? (Anyone for Bonus 4?)

P.S: This might also explain why I forgot leases is also part of the quiz. Heh heh.

Resolutions are meant to be broken...

2008-09-28T15:40:00.001+05:30

Specially this one
Crap!

Resolution at 07.00 hours on September 28, 2008

2008-09-28T04:30:00.003+05:30

To Debit Knowledge I will no longer Credit Sleep.

P.S: The idea is plagiarized. Not the entire text of course. :-)

Another CP Blooper...

2008-09-22T14:41:00.003+05:30

This one's from Operations Management class.

Case fact #1: Cost of high quality imported raw hides - 2X
Case fact #2: From selling goods made from highest quality hides, the company earns - 4X
Question: How much would the company be willing to pay the local market to get the highest quality hide?
My Answer: 4 times! (The culture where I come from, Profit is a dirty word anyway. Heh heh!)

On a totally different note, the take away from today's case was that many business backward integrate. And we, then decided that since we anyway own the cow, and the whole backward integration is a never ending process, and that before we know it we will be buying land and growing fodder and setting up own own 'water' manufacturing facility, and then a parallel universe all together... we should also make money selling the meat, the milk, the milk products, and the cow dung as safe, bio friendly fertilizers! (Differentiated value anyone?)

Moral of the story? "Don't be shy about buying the cow".
And I thought we were discussing a tannery here!

Rhetoric

2008-09-19T01:11:00.003+05:30

Should Rhetoric be used as a tool to better highlight clarity of thought, or can it be used to fill in the gaps created by lack of logical thinking and obfuscate the lack of clarity in thought; or would Rhetoric by its very definition be the entire package of efficient communication?

Your answer - a/b/c?

Recipie for Disaster

2008-09-15T22:26:00.004+05:30

It's 1 am, I have two cases to read before 9 am. I am not feeling sleepy, but I don't particularly feel like studying either. It's been just 2 weeks into the MBA. I have not exhibited even an iota of the genius I delude myself into believing I am/have, either in the class or in my CAN group. I have been only reflecting on the sorry state of personal affairs, and on my visit to Makati Hospital. (At midnight, to the ER. Heh heh!)

Am I setting myself up for disaster? The word disaster, btw, has 'aster' as a root which has something to do with a star/astral body/something. I wish I could say, I am a shining star... what the F is happening here?

P.S: That was all self pity. Or to be more elegant, that was my reflection paper on the 11 days of the MBA. (Discounting the 2 weeks of Pre-MBA).

P.P.S: Beer Pub was good fun, except of course, I missed the beer. Thanks to the fever. Crap.

Sinbad the Sailor!

2008-09-07T02:00:00.000+05:30

I just discovered that Sinbad the Sailor (From the movie Rock On) has been inspired by the posts on my blog. Seriously. I'll prove it to you. All you need to do is to follow the links.

Sinbaad The Sailor Jahaaj Me Jab Chala, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Sun Lo
Dhundh Raha Tha Ek Nayi Duniya Ka Pata, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Sun Lo
Woh Anjaani Raahon Me Tha O O
Woh Leharo Ki Baahon Me Tha O O
Sab Ne Kaha Tha In Samundaro Me Jaana Nahi, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Sun Lo
Khwaabo Ke Pichhe Jaake Kuchh Bhi Hai Paana Nahi, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Suno
Woh Apni Hi Dhun Me Raha O O
Woh Sunata Tha Dil Ka Kaha O O
Usake The Jo Sapne, Wohi Usake The Apne
Aisa Tha Sinbaad The Sailor, Sailor...

Usaka Jahaj Khila Tufano Me, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Sun Lo
Phir Bhi Na Aayi Kami Usake Armaano Me, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Sun Lo
Woh Deewana Aisa Hi Tha O O
Woh Sapano Ka Hamrahi Tha O O
Usake The Jo Sapne, Wohi Usake The Apne
Aisa Tha Sinbaad The Sailor, Sailor...

Woh Kuchh Paane Ki Chaah Me O O
Woh Badhata Raha Raah Me O O
Gehara Samundar Tha Unchi Unchi Lehren, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Sun Lo
Kashtiya Jin Dekhi Mushkil Se Thehare, Mere Yaar Sun Lo Sun Lo
Woh Saahil Tak Aa Hi Gaya O O
Woh Manjil Ko Paa Hi Gaya O O
Usake The Jo Sapne, Wohi Usake The Apne
Aisa Tha Sinbaad The Sailor, Sailor...

Hence Proved. Well, almost!
I further request you to appreciate the Engineering theme in the penultimate stanza and the MBA theme in the last stanza! Also the arbit theme in the first one! :P

For those-
1. Perplexed, the cheat is to associate the link with only the set of words its linked to and not locate the context in the entire sentence. Okay, so you had that figured already!
2. Wondering how much time this took - 20 minutes.

Void

2008-09-06T21:43:00.005+05:30

Main Entry:¹void
Pronunciation:\ˈvȯid\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English voyde, from Anglo-French, from Vulgar Latin *vocitus, alteration of Latin vocivus, vacivus empty, from vacare to be empty
Date:14th century
1 a: not occupied : vacant
1 b: not inhabited : deserted

If its not occupied, it should be occupiable. Yet, the void left behind by a friend can never be filled in by another!

CP gone wrong #1

2008-09-02T20:24:00.004+05:30

Professor Larry Tan, teaches us a subject called LOB - Language of Business, which regardless of its fancy name, is nothing but Basic (?) Accounting. In an 8 am class on Day 1 of the MBA proper (as he refers to the MBA after the Pre-MBA), I decide to once again put my rather large-ish foot in the even larger mouth.

We were discussing a case about two friends trying to come to a conclusion on the accounts of their little business. I raise my hand and make this rather astute observation, "Sir, since we are capitalizing the recipe, shouldn't we capitalize the labour too?" Prof. Larry Tan comes back with, "Let's say tomorrow Infosys decides to capitalize you, and depreciate you ever year. How would you feel?".

Everything else is good, but "How would you feel?"!!!!!!!!

GMT + 8.00

2008-08-23T19:28:00.003+05:30

Ladies, Gentlemen, the August Readership of my Blog, Kids, and others who currently are Unclassified,

I'm finally a MBA student!
I have found my way to Makati City, Manila, Philippines.
Ain't this so cool?

Cheers,
K!

P.S: That's the timezone I am in, just in case those like Mathi Boy would want to collect some trivia! :P
P.P.S: Who hasn't been linked in yet?

Micro Story#6

2008-06-09T12:48:00.004+05:30

Futility of Darning.

With a needle, and a couple of shots (or were they multi-coloured threads?), she tried to darn her life, which had been through a paper shredder, multiple times over. After an enternity, she figured it was futile and what made more sense was to shred those veins too. If you can't beat them, join them - was the line of reasoning. Unfortunately, just one slit was all she could manage.

As life flowed out of her, she finally fell asleep.

---
Note to readers: Do not try to darn anything at home. I tried to darn my denims once. What I finally had was localised polka dots all over. :(

Sleep, Eat and Celebrate!

2008-05-09T16:11:00.002+05:30

Is what I am doing these days.

Only if it were "Shop, Eat and Celebrate", Kishore Biyani would have been so proud of me!

Egg Museum!

2008-05-08T18:07:00.007+05:30

Precious Not so Little Pearl is planning a new Business Venture. She plans to preserve "Eggs".
Whose Eggs?
Well, this is the story -

Me and Pearl were drinking Chai. Actually I was sipping chai and Pearl was watching. Then she says,
"Didi, will you *lend* me your eggs?"
"Why"
"So that I can have kids"
"What about your eggs?"
"I want to preserve them"
"For whom?"
"For Posterity"
"WHAT POSTERITY"
"Your posterity"
"huh????"
"See, my kids will be from your eggs, right? Hence your posterity"

This one can win #1 spot for "Kids say the most unbelievable things" section of the news paper!

Please Note: Statement in PINK are in the said colour on Pearl's request. So that her thoughts can stand out in the crowd! As if the thoughts weren't wild enough...!!??!!?!

Pearl Turns 17!

2008-05-05T23:56:00.002+05:30

Dear Pearl,

If you keep growing old at this rate, in the next ten years, you'll be old enough to get married!
A very critical observation! Ain't it?

Love,
K (and the others!)

Ich bin Ingenieurin

2008-04-04T12:22:00.002+05:30

My Engineering degree certifies that I have been an engineer (first class with distinction, and all - I'm gloating, please notice) since May 2005. While I would not like to dispute it, more so, because I had been employed as an engineer on the basis of that degree, in reality, I feel like an engineer today! After all these years!

So, what's my claim to fame...?
My TV ka remote control - the one which you point at the TV and magically change channels/increase or decrease the volume... the one with which you (and I) and can do a host of other things that you (and specifically I) never utilise it for... that one - conked off. It's been displaying symptoms for a long time now (close to a year or so), but today it (finally!) gave up. Stopped.

Like the brilliant engineer that I am (first class with distinction), I step in, then open it (the remote) up, inspect the PCB, that it is not working because of the rubber deposited all over the tracks, clean up the tracks, put it all back together, and... it works!!!

I now feel like the brilliant engineer with a first class with distinction that my degree certifies me to be!!!

Breaking News -

2008-04-01T23:09:00.002+05:30

This is what I recently mailed my team in office :-)

Hi Everyone,
This is the customary good bye mail that everyone writes on quitting the organization! Yes, I am (finally!) quitting *****, to pursue a full time two year MBA!

From where – I still have to take a decision on that, but I thought I may as well enjoy a month or two at home doing absolutely nothing, and so have quit before I receive all the acceptance letters (Yes… I have one, and am expecting at least another 2/3 – no, I’m not being a boastful idiot! )

Because I’m more excited about the future, and not in a very reflective mood, I cannot (and will not) write a very long letter of how much I really enjoyed everything and learned a lot here. Well, I did, and from a lot of 2^nd hand experiences, I must admit, mine at ***** been a very good experience. My last working day here will be the 25^th of March!! And, it will be back to school for me, from June, and obviously, the ***** will no longer be active.

My personal email, in case you would like to update your address books – blah@.....

Hope to keep in touch…

Cheers,

I feel on top of the world. Unemployment rocks!!!

Hello, World!

2008-02-10T23:55:00.000+05:30

Just testing to see if this still works! lol!
And to take up the tag by Lively...

I'll be making this real quick, as I am at that point of my professional-academic career where I want to move into the MBA-Student category real soon. Though, of course, as usual I'm not doing anything about it. Not even preparing an answer to the customary, "So, tell me something about yourself". Getting back to the tag, six non-important habits/quirks/things about myself -

1. I daydream - A LOT.
2. I prefer writing with a pencil - the regular ones, not the "clutch" or "point-5" pencils.
3. I need my pencils sharpened. Usually.
4. I am obsessed with colour. All kinds.
5. I clip my nails very short, till the point where the nail touches the skin. Every 12-15 days.
6. I want a cell phone that has only 4 features - a decent enough organiser, an unlimited contact list, an unlimited message memory, and 6-8 hours of talk time. Nothing else.

As for who to tag, it's the usual gang -
1. Pearl
2. Danny
3. Charlie
4. Mathi Boy
5. Revy - Will this prompt you to start blogging?
6. Any other reader who wishes to take this up!

That's it folks! See you guys on the other side of March, or probably early April!

Personal Attacks :(

2008-01-08T00:00:00.000+05:30

I enjoy making personal attacks at Pearl. Stuff like
"You've got the brains of an amoeba" or
"With your personality, I'm surprised you're not an orange" and such other crap!

Today, I requested (read: begged) her to review an essay of mine, for my MBA applications, with deadlines early next week. There was one essay where I had to describe myself to the class. On reading that, Pearl tells me,
"Even a waterfall could describe itself better".

Damn. I don't know whether to be upset with her remark or to be happy she's learning to make personal attacks!

Sweet Revenge

2007-12-25T18:43:00.000+05:30

After all the years of putting up with Pearl impersonating me on IM and telephone conversations, I managed to impersonate her! And for a good part of the conversation, managed to type in the "chat language", at least till I was able to. Achievement, no? But better still is the conversation. It's simply brilliant! :-)

Pearl left her gtalk connected, with a "be right back", when I casually went over to my laptop and created the havoc I did. The best part is, her friend still believes the "chat conversation" that she had with "Pearl"!!

The_friend: ru planin on commin back?
The_Pearl: yo dude
sowie
The_friend: its not ok
:P
The_Pearl: m srry
i ws on phne
The_friend: but i said na its not ok
:P
The_Pearl: bt it ws impt phne
The_friend: 4m
?
The_Pearl: i'l mke it up 2 u
i cnt tell
i'l give u a call
The_friend: ummmm
The_Pearl: 2dy
in sme tim
The_friend: okie!!
but who was on the ph
The_Pearl: i cnt tel ya
The_friend: u evil lil soul jus tell me
The_Pearl: my bf ya
The_friend: otherwise katti
ya ya
The_Pearl: seriously
The_friend: and who is he
The_Pearl: he's doin engg
1st yr
The_friend: okie
The_Pearl: comp sci
The_friend: n whats his name
The_Pearl: y?
u want to google search r pics kya?
The_friend: yaaa
The_Pearl: Shashank
The_friend: jus wonderin u know
The_Pearl: abt?
wt r u wondering abt?
The_friend: :) how come u convinced him
:P
The_Pearl: he convinced me
:P
The_friend: ohhhh
The_Pearl: So i ws lke okay whatever
The_friend: full on
The_Pearl: jus tp ya
nothing serious ;)
The_friend: ohhh so hes a tgp types kya?
The_Pearl: no re. hes a dude
hunk
The_friend: ohhh
The_Pearl: rlly
The_friend: i got ur point
:P
The_Pearl: :)
blushes
The_friend: laughs
The_Pearl: heh
The_friend: :)
The_Pearl: what r u upto?
The_friend: not much
The_Pearl: hw many ppl u flirting wid?
The_friend: really bored
The_Pearl: flirt wid smeone na
The_friend: me none
okie
u tell me how
The_Pearl: mmm
The_friend: i mean who
The_Pearl: u'l hve to pay me 4 ma consultancy services
let's agree upon the rate
and we can negotiate other details later?
The_friend: u still have 2 make up 2 me 4 not chattin and ignorin me while u were on the ph
The_Pearl: I propose, 40$ an hour
oh yes. I'll make it up
so, I'll give you a 25% discount
so that's $30 an hour
But, you called me an evil little soul
The_friend: okie 1st u have 2 give a trile service
The_Pearl: Hence, I might want to bring it to your notice that my actual rate was $30 an hour, I hiked it up to $40
So esentially I over quoted by 33%, but you thought I'm giving you a 25% discount.
Am I brilliant or what??
The_friend: hehe!! that shere cheatin
The_Pearl: And, yes, I'm aware this is not a basic math class, so I'll cut the crap
where were we....
yes, 30$
The_friend: okie
The_Pearl: so let's sign on that
and then we can take it forward after that
The_friend: okie
The_Pearl: What do you think?
The_friend: ya im cool with it
but u have 2 give me a special discount
coz ur cheatin
The_Pearl: sure babes.... anything for you
let's say, 25% ;)

A business opportunity!

2007-11-25T19:16:00.000+05:30

I just realised, with the amount of "Gyan" I keep giving people (Without being asked... :D, Proud to be an Indian ;) ) and the amount of SOPs I've reviewed/ helped people structure I think, I can mint millions if I get into the business... no?

And to think I was struggling to locate a business opportunity to write about in the Essay's for one of the Business School's I'm applying to.

Congrats Kiddo...!!!

2007-06-26T11:42:00.000+05:30

It's totally out of character to be congratulating my silly sister and all that, but the kid managed a 90.153846.... in her 10th Board papers!!!

Amazing, no??

P.S: Where's the party kid???
P.P.S: Please may I write a poem for you?

Nobody liked my Poetry...

2007-06-19T08:28:00.000+05:30

Now I am depressed
Now I do not know what to do
Now I feel nobody loves me
Now I will stop writing poetry for people.

:(

Yours depressedly (or whatever that is)
Candy.

All play and no work...

2007-06-18T14:30:00.000+05:30

Creates gems for future generations to read...
Interactive poetry, Ladies and Gentlemen!!

Revy had forgotten to "reply all" to a sad mail sent by Charlie boy, and so I hit reply all and that worked as a reminder. So natuarally Revy baby was happy about the reminder, and so I wrote a few lines of poetry for her...

Now I made you remember.
Now you remember.
Now you replied.
Now we're all happy.
Now that we're all happy, you are also happy.
Now that calls for a party.
Now you need to give us a party.
Now that party can be an Ice cream party.
Now that can be given at the ice cream thingy inside E-square.
Now that is because the ice cream of that brand is amazing.
Now isn't that lovely!
Now we're all happy all over again,
Now... heh heh heh!!!!!!!!

Then of course, she replied in prose, which when converted to poetry reads...
Now I'm not happy.
Now that because of the use of the word "Now" in Sonal's poetry.

This converstion didn't go down well with her, so she replied in prose again, which when converted to poetry reads...
Now I will request you to spare me.
Now I am pleading with you.

Which of course, didn't go down well either. But to be fair and just to the girl, she made an attempt at poetry, which was rather bad, so converting it to poetry again...
Now I'm not happy
Now that is because Candy has started using too many "Now's" in her poetry
Now I am getting bored because of that
Now I realised that is because I never liked it
Now will Sonal ever understand
Now that she should stop using the word "Now"

Then I realised I loved the poetry!! So I added to the poem...
Now I will blog this poem...

Now isn't this lovely!!!! lol!!
P.S: Please note that Candy and Sonal are the same people, therefore there is no logical mistake in the previous to previous stanza! Its like, $ alias Sonal= Candy
P.P.S: This is an explaination for Revy.
P.P.P.S: The post isn't checked for spelling mistakes.

Question for the day...

2007-06-17T20:55:00.000+05:30

How difficult is it to sms in English? There's even T9 to make life simple!

On a totally off note, at times I think the apes are smarter than us. We lost intelligence somewhere along the way while evolution was happening. And yes, I have been watching Discovery and seeing a wild monkey eat a banana after peeling the skin and of another one taking care of its kid. Makes me positive that they're wiser/smarter than us.

P.S: I'm not drunk, not as yet!

Quote for the day...

2007-06-02T20:43:00.000+05:30

Why do people assume that I will by default leave my current job within a year of joining by virtue of one year getting over??

Its been a year and eight months here and the first question I hear when I meet someone is, "You still with Wipro?!???"
And when I answer "Yes", I get all assorted reactions from
1. Nice
What do I make of that?
2. Still????
Err... Am I supposed to play musical jobs?
3. Haven't you started job searching yet?
Was a I supposed to?
4. Lazy, huh?
Excuse me!

One lady who didn't know me for more than 30 seconds, and only knew that I'm with my current employer since a little over a year and a half even said "Isnt that illegal", I still haven't been able to figure out what she meant.
Illegal - So sue me! Lol!!

Signs that you've been working too late...

2007-04-03T22:13:00.000+05:30

Over the years, there have been enough mails doing the rounds with subject lines as inane as "You might be addicted to office if... ", "15 signs that you're married to your office..." Please note the three dots. (On a side note, the manager guy from the client's end is so particular about the documentation that if you deliver a document that has "some stuff, some other stuff, some more stuff etc .." he gets back with a review comment saying that the two dots should be three... which means it should be "etc..." and not "etc..")

Getting back to where I was, those mails would talk about a lot of fiction and just for putting something in print, they would put not quite exhibited behaviour of the IT fellows! Some of the points I remember would be

1. You pick up the home phone and dial "0" for an outside line.
... oh well... I've done this many a times :(
2. You know how to spell and pronounce paradigm.
blame it on my englist teacher...
3. You even use it and know what it means.
pointer to the english teacher, all over again!
4. You need coffee every hour (or you have caffeine in your veins as against blood) or something on those lines...

What does IT have to do with this - See what I meant about "forced" points! There - this just vindicated my stand!

But now, on a more serious note, the real, uncensored, actual behaviour exhibited if you work in office too much!

1. You dial "0" to get an outside line - honestly, this one's a classic... what better than to start with a classic!
2. You use your access card, and swipe it at the elevator, hoping that the elevator will magically come and figure where it is you need to go.
3. You even use your card to swipe at a mall, and hope that you'll get access to the section you need to get into... When all you need to do, is to push the damned door!
4. You no longer ask Ankita to do something for you, but in stead, "the action is on Ankita"!
5. You no longer "finish stuff", but actually "close tasks".
6. Your checklists for daily activities become better, more defined, show continuous improvement and provoke Precious little Pearl into this! I shall now let this post continue here!

bulb-illuminated-in-my-head #4

2007-02-25T10:07:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I was having this lovely conversation with Revy Baby when I realised that before I can even think of getting to the point where I would classify a guy as "hot", he needs to be
1. Intelligent
2. Witty
3. Smart
4. Honest

Its only guys who pass the above test(s) that I then bother to "check them out"!

Now... how does this relate to Mr. Lightbulb?
Well... if you see a "hot" guy, the first thought that crosses the mind is "wonder... what he would be like in bed"! And I just realised that 99/100 of the men-folk missed making it to the semi-finals because they didn't pass the litmus test!! What a waste... lol!

I accept...

2007-01-28T15:17:00.000+05:30

Dear Ankita - The crazy trouble some kid who troubles everyone,

I accept that one of my "ex" boyfriends is not an ex-boyfriend, but another "personality" of mine. I admit I suffer from a multi-personality disorder. I admit that I have 7 different personalities. One for each day of the week, and they take over me, in 7*7 ways each day. Well... each day, one of the personalities can take over me in 7 different ways and this will happen for each of the 7 days. To complicate matters, one of my personalities is dilusionary, the other is schizophrenic, the third has two other personalities (one of which is a 3 year kid and the other a sage on the Himalayas), the fourth is possessed, the fifth is a superman - the love of my life, the sixth is a physiatrist, and the seventh is me.

I hope this clarifies matters.

Thanking you,

Yours sincerely,
Sonal

P.S: Now can we please stop bugging my life, since I have made a public announcement which can also double up as an apology.

The seven deadly IT sins!

2007-01-26T17:19:00.000+05:30

Since I'm catching up on my reading today... here's another one!

Check the slide show!
I specially like this one! It reads,

Obviously, avoid the office romance. Not so obvious is to avoid the lust for the perfect technology. It doesn't exist

Lol!

What language do you think in?

2007-01-26T14:42:00.000+05:30

The other day I was having a casual conversation with my manager when he asked "What language do you think in". As always, the first thought was "English". Many years ago, I did do an exercise to consciously observe/note/understand what language I use to form those thoughts and then translate to the required language. Back then, the answer was "English"... probably because the exposure to Hindi/Marathi was restricted to the classes in school and occasionally with relatives who weren't comfortable with English. This of course, does not mean I wasn’t confortable with Hindi, or that I didn’t appreciate the language. For the record it’s a beautiful language!

Every language for that matter has its own beauty and certain thoughts can only be expressed in that language. The second part of the previous statement is what I learnt in the later years of my life! Some part of spoken language is not like engineering drawing where you can think up plan and elevation views in first angle and translate them to third angle :)

Today, the previous paragraph compels me to think that I now I don't think in only one language, but in a good mix of both Hindi and English... though I'm still sceptical. So I turned to Google Baba for help! It didn't solve the problem at hand, but I stumbled on a rather interesting article, which talks about thinking in terms of a "programming" language! What really intrigued me was, towards the end the write-up says,

So, what language do you think in? Is it the same one that you're currently being paid to use? If not, you are not as efficient as you could be. And your code may be horribly inefficient, too.

I wonder if I can apply that my work and re-word it as "When you analyze code, do you think in terms of RTRT scripting? If not, the scripts you write may not be as efficient as you are paid to write". Sounds scary!

On a not-so-side note, here's another interesting article I came across on the same site. The crux of the article could be summed up by,

In short, he said that it is important for managers (and I would suggest, for all employees and consultants) to reset their opinions about the team members every 6 months or so. Primarily, his point being that people can and do change, but we often latch onto our early impressions and never give them the benefit of a new assessment.

And I'll sign off, wishing you all a very happy 26th January and a happy happy happy holiday ;)

Micro Story#5

2007-01-08T21:40:00.000+05:30

Lets Play Pretend.

Diya was this young chirpy girl. One day she attained enlightenment - the world is not worth her. Human beings are sick. Diya was known for being chirpy and friendly and lively. Hence, even though it killed her from inside, she was still chirpy and friendly and bubbly… because she pretended that she liked the world. I'd call her "Pepsi". Playing pretend gave her a high. A high unparalled by either narcotics or sex. Not that she tried either. She was playing pretend on this Railway track with her boyfriend. She'd pretend to be really happy with him. He'd pretend to love her... or maybe he did. Or maybe he didn't. Because he never told her of the train he heard and she didn't. Was it because she was told him "Let's play pretend... I’m deaf, maybe? ". And the train of course wasn't playing pretend.

End of Story.

92 Percentile

2007-01-03T09:11:00.000+05:30

RIP, the IIM dream.

2007!!!!!

2007-01-01T00:13:00.000+05:30

I'm a tea addict. I love tea. But I'm not your regular addict, as in, I do not suffer from withdrawal symptoms when I know there is no way I can have tea. Although these symptoms very well manifest themselves when I know tea is available and I'm denying myself the wonderful, hot, steaming cup of tea. Then of course Pearl the Crazy Kid calls me a coal miner, because she claims like the miners I'm trying to extract every calorie of heat that the cup would have. Talking about calories, I've got this love-hate relationship with them... though I'll get back to that a little later.

As I finished sipping the last sip of my midnight cup of tea (which is something I consume only when I'm up late at night, which is not very often since Mathi Boy is no longer onsite @Powerway.) As I sipped the last sip of tea, (!!) I casually, like a high profile big shot actor in a gigantic budget Karan Johar movie, glanced at the time, and interestingly the clock read 23.59. This made that the last sip of the last cup of tea of 2006 in the last minute of 2006! I wish I could get my name in some record book for that feat! While on Karan Johar, I think his movies are dumb, but definitely better than enduring a Shaadi No.1. And and and I love his choice of heroines, and of Shah Rukh Khan and their dress designers and the dresses these dress designers design... which gives me enough reason to donate my hard earned money for a movie ticket. It saddens me that I still haven't seen KANK as yet. And it’s even got Preity Zinta and my darling Abhishek in it!

So, as I was creating the world record for sipping the last sip of tea from the last cup of tea in the last minute of 2006, my mind started going back on the year that was.

2006 started on a high. If I remember right, I kissed someone happy new year... and before your minds get working, not "that" kind of a kiss. Later I had enough days off from office, as I thought I was sick. Well, I did fall ill, but then I could have gone to office... lol!!! I had an enjoyable January, the ankle sprain from Christmas was killing me, but then one evening I had a lovely coffee with Charlie Boy (sadly it wasn't coffee with Karan)... and we rode over the Marathalli road to this cosy CCD somewhere near the Bangalore airport.

Other highlights were of course the crazy work I did at office, the lovely micro marathon that I won! Besides that, I think 2006 has been the most un-productive year of my 23 years, 1 month and 20 days of existence on planet earth. In fact the productivity of 2006 was negative... for instance, I lost negative kgs of weight (and that explains why I prefer the unit Calorie to Joule which is the SI unit of heat despite the fact that my four years of engineering and 2 years of junior college and a couple of years of school drilled in the importance of the SI system of units.) I also did a lot of negative work, on one special occasion managed a screw up on the eve of the project release. But sadly, I had a backup and I wasted only 10 minutes fixing it. So much for the adrenaline rush! Sigh! And to carry on in the same vein... I did some negative progress on the CAT, the JMET, the IIFT entrance, the SNAP, the NMAT and I'm looking forward to keep up the spirit this year with the XAT and FMS and probably the CET. Still pretty undecided on the CET. Not really sure if an engineer of my "calibre" should bother with anyplace other than the IIMs and XLRI... I'm a narcissist. And I think I'm the best! Which reminds me of this lovely song from a Shah Rukh movie "phir bhi dil hai hindustani" called "I'm the best". I can bet you a couple of million dollars that it was written with me in mind. Of course, I will not be betting them, is an altogether different issue. I'd rather use them to buy myself an exotic island where me and my lover(s) can have sex forever without being disturbed by pesky human beings.

A year that can be summed up in 2 paragraphs (412 words) definitely deserves the world award for the most unproductive year. My post count was also pretty low... and the quality was despicable! Never the less, new year... new resolutions... and not 1024X768, since I'm already using that, and since its a rather old joke. My resolutions for 2007 will be something doable... that by itself excludes getting into IIMA.

1. I added myself onto Y! Messenger years ago. I also added my otherself, i.e. a "profile" of mine on Y! Messenger centuries ago. Now the task for this year would be to set up a conference with me, my added self and my other self! (The idea is courtesy a friend of mine who claims this way I won't have to google search the meaning of my life.)
2. No spraining of ankles this year. Its really simple, all I need to do is to take a deep breath, not think of Abhishek Bacchan, no jumping half a flight of stairs, no monkey-ing, no trying to chase Pearl in the incy-incy little bedroom of ours, no frog jumping without shoes, no skipping more than 4000 counts regardless of whether all my stamina is underutilised, no... damn... this sounds difficult. But then, as Bond says, "if you try, you might, if you don't, you won't"! :)
3. Stop using kiddie pencils that have the 6 and 7 times tables printed on them. (It helps there aren't many of those left...!!!)

Three is a good number of resolutions. It is, in fact a good number. Like one bugger that day was telling me for the XAT essay, it’s a good idea to discuss three important points. In a PI, if you're asked your strengths, don't rattle off a shopping list, but talk of 3 strengths. He should have told me something new...!! But then, not everyone is a genius like me...!! I love myself! And for 2007, another New Year resolution that I will definitely keep up is to fall in love with myself all the more!! To kick start the new year...

... Love you Sona Baby!!!!!!!!!

They were successful!

2006-11-21T10:44:00.001+05:30

Them buggers who didn't want me to hunt the CAT :(

Never mind, there's always the next exam! JMET and XAT.
Megan Hawk, my dear friend, we shall one day rule over the world, and over silly exams like the CAT :D

And my dear readers, do hop over to Life Is Beautiful, its a wonderful blog :)

Tip for the Day!

2006-11-17T17:28:00.000+05:30

I don't know why it should strike me now... one day the "Tip for the Day" pop-up window of my compiler read "Eat fresh vegetables everyday".

:)

TWENTY THREE!!

2006-11-08T22:31:00.000+05:30

In a couple of hours, I shall be 23!!!!
Yippeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for your wishes guys :D

The most unbelievale things!!

2006-11-08T19:02:00.000+05:30

We've always come across sections that proudly proclaim "Kids say the most un-believable things" or something to that effect. Here's a new one, "Mom's say the most un-believable things"!

Me and my mom were gossiping over chai, and suddenly my mom realises that I'm not studying in the leave "for personal reasons" that I've taken from office. Then she says, "beta, ya to aap padh lo, ya phir shaadi karo. Nahi to saari jawani yu hi tanhai mein dhal jayegi". I was more than just stumped!! (Non-hindi readers, I'm extremely sorry. The statement is one that would get lost in translation. I did make an attempt, however the translation was pretty sad!)

This is how...

2006-11-06T14:14:00.000+05:30

... You get your rather largish foot in your even larger mouth!

It so happened that Manager Uncle became Daddy for the first time.
It was a 10.30 status meet where everyone was congratulating him. I was blissfully unaware of the news, and befuddled I asked "what's the occasion". Someone took pity on me and told me "He's become a dad". With my brain - at the wrong time- going numb for no reason whatsoever, I exclaimed (almost a direct question to him), "When did that happen". And he calmly asks me, "when did WHAT happen?"

But the story doesn't end there. I couldn't figure out the reason for his response. Remember, my brains were numb. I was perplexed. Puzzled. Befuddled. I was wondering do babies make daddies go nuts that they can't answer a simple question. My question, afterall, was really really straightforward. And the though process went on, in that vein.

Finally, in the evening, I tell a friend that I felt Manager Uncle's been behaving funny. He's lost it. He's gone nuts. He doesn't know what he's saying. And my friend Mohit was probably wondering if I need to be taken in for psychiatric treatment. Then I tell him the entire story. Even more calmly than what Manager Uncle had responded, Mohit says, "If I were him, I'd have answered your question with - it happened 9 months ago". Oops... then it hit home. A good 8 hours after the blessed response.

You can call me intelligent :)

A Conversation with Charlie!

2006-10-23T16:55:00.000+05:30

Charlie : be nice. say hi plz
Kathak : hi
Charlie : good
Charlie : thanks
Charlie : u wont even tell me a hi unless I ask for it?
Kathak : I was typing a blog post
Kathak : didn't noticed you signed in
Charlie : u no longer love me
Kathak : I do I do I do
Charlie : really?
Kathak : give me 10 mins
Kathak : please baby
Charlie : ok granted
Charlie : but only 20 min
Charlie : *yawns* at the new post
Charlie : what happened to u?
Kathak : why don't you like it?
Kathak : I fainted reading my own blog post
Charlie : u are not the same old story teller anymore
Kathak : the quality of the composition was so disgusting that I was shocked
Charlie : lol
Charlie : yeah
Kathak : absolutely traumatized
Kathak : the same old story teller
Charlie : no no
Kathak : of course I'm getting older everyday
Charlie : not the same one
Charlie : doesnt have the humour
Kathak : you mean my other personality has finally awakened and taken over?
Charlie : but ur metabolism is at a faster rate
Charlie : u became old in a yr?
Kathak : I guess it's one of the other nine rasas
Kathak : like the nine rasas of dance
Kathak : metabolism?
Charlie: I just know fruit rasa
Kathak : no no
Charlie : ya. when ur metabolism rate increases u age faster
Kathak : it's the nine variations of shringara or love
Kathak : I get it
Kathak : it's because of my faster metabolic rate that my brains have aged faster and now they are demented
Kathak : am I smart or am I smart?
Charlie : u r not
Kathak : thanks
Kathak : you are so sweet to think my brains are not demented
Kathak : :*
Charlie : u were expecting that only right?
Charlie : no no honey
Charlie : I said not for the "smart?"
Kathak : oh for the smart
Kathak : you mean I'm not smart
Kathak : I'm super smart
Charlie: but I love u whoever u r >:D< :*
Kathak : I'm brilliant
Kathak : I'm a genius and all
Kathak : thanks!!
Kathak : I love you all the more
Charlie : err.. whatever u r in fact
Kathak : whoever?
Kathak : whatever!!
Kathak : I understand
Kathak : whatever
Charlie : but yday I spoke to Agent R's dad and fixed up our wedding
Kathak : so you mean you're getting married to her?
Charlie : ya ya
Charlie : u didnt know that?
Kathak : OMG
Kathak : I'm so happy for your children
Kathak : I didn't know that
Charlie : how come dear?
Kathak : I don't know
Charlie : I thought u and Agent R share everything
Kathak : maybe it's because of the personality change
Kathak : or maybe because I'm old
Charlie : sometimes nail polishes too
Kathak : and you still think my brins are demented
Kathak : no
Charlie : no honey
Kathak : I don't use make up
Charlie : its not demented
Kathak : besides,
Charlie : I know
Charlie : I know that u dont use make up kit
Charlie : u use Agent R
Kathak : I cut my nails so short, that I can only apply nail polish on my cuticles
Charlie : guests here
Charlie : talk to u later
Kathak : sure
Kathak : talk to the guests about how wonderful I am
Kathak : and then we'll discuss my brilliance later
Kathak : please archive this conversation
Kathak : incase there is another personality switch
Kathak : so that the new personality is able to pick up the thread of the conversation

Conspiracy Theory

2006-09-29T09:13:00.000+05:30

The folks at work are all together conspiring against poor little me. They just don't want me to walk the hallowed corridoors of IIM-A. They're jealous ;)

But I shall survive.
I will prove them wrong.
I shall get a 99.99999 (5 9's are enough, I guess) percentile, without their giving me the leave I so so so so so desperately need to brush up on my quant!
And when I do get the afore mentioned percentile, I'll probably put on a "cool" facade, like "they" never really mattered to me. If they won't give me a leave, who say's I couldn't have taken it anyway?

I suddenly feel like above them all! lol!!!!

In memory of Prof. P D Chidgupkar

2006-09-23T13:36:00.000+05:30

On the 21st Morning, one of my favourite-est professors from engineering college passed away.

My first association with him was when me as a gawky eyed first year engineering student went to him on advice for the presentation on Hybrid Vehicles I was going to make at a state level technical symposium. “Ahh… another of those paper presentations, eh?” is probably what I’d say now, but back then, it was a big deal. And I was petrified of making a presentation at a “technical symposium” complete with the shivering and stuttering. And Prof. Chidgupkar had a look at my slides and gave me one big smile and said, and I quote “Not bad, for your first presentation”. I had no idea how to react! I was wondering if it’s just about passable for a “first presentation” or if it’s good. Well, I managed a decent third prize, and the rest is history. Over-night I was this semi-celebrity but that apart, it was after this that the then vice principal took notice of this kid in the first year and my association with him increased.

We were involved with the AETS (Association of electronics and telecommunication students), and the TechView (that I was the editor for) and the IEEE student chapter (that I presided over). No, this is not an exercise in self indulgence, but it was these forums that got me working closely with Prof. Chidgupkar. And he was among the best managers that I have come across. We had our share of disagreements, but it was never a win-lose argument. He always believed that it should be a “win-win” situation and even when we lost, we learnt something from him; and when we won, he knew how to take defeat gracefully :)

He’s not just a good manager, but also a teacher par excellence. He taught us a subject called ‘Feedback Control Systems’ in the second year and then there was ‘Digital Signal Processing’ in the final. Get me a bode plot and I’ll still be able to tell you what it means! We had this design subject in the third year where I would end up going back to my control system notes. Even after a year of dissociation with theoretical and practical electronics for that matter, the concepts of FCS are firmly rooted in the cerebrum!! And how can I forget DSP!! I still remember we had this “internal” viva, where we all knew nothing and he managed to ask mutually exclusive questions to each and every student so that neither of us could have the benefit of “what’s he asking” and get the answer right… lol!! Finally after a lot of hair tearing by the great man, I walk in and write the equation that he asked. Not that I knew it, I just remembered something off the practicals. He was so so happy, that he attempted asking me another question “What is circular convolution”. I give him this blank look and happily announce “Sir, it’s that thing where we put the points around a circle”… and burst out laughing!! To Prof. Chidgupkar’s credit, he joined me and managed to give me a 25/25!!!

There are so many memories associated with Prof. Chidgupkar. He was so so so so involved at every stage of college! I remember him walking in the exam halls and asking us about how the paper was. And the smiles he would randomly pass along. And there was this time when me and a friend were playing “catch-catch” in the corridors like little 2 year olds” and rather than reprimanding us, he smiled like you would smile at a 2 year old!!! When I wrote a rough draft for a recommendation letter, he made me insert a lot of stuff in the reco that I had forgotten, and he remembered! And how can I forget the time he came to Wipro for some work! When I met him, he exclaimed “Sonal! How are you, beta?”!!!!!!!

But life goes on. It’s so difficult imagining college without him. I can’t imagine going back to college and not meeting Prof. Chidgupkar. As one of the greatest teachers, a good manager, an awesome person at heart… and integral part of my 4 years of engineering… Prof. Chidgupkar, I’m going to miss you!

Revy Baby!!!!

2006-08-24T14:21:00.000+05:30

You too :D

Kanchan Darlin'...

2006-08-24T14:19:00.000+05:30

I love you!!!!!!!!!!

I love the Crazy TroubleALL Kid!!!!!!!

2006-08-19T11:35:00.000+05:30

She quotes me on her debate speeches!!!!!

I love you Anky Baby!!!!!!!!
Muuuuaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Happy Birthday Danny!!!

2006-08-19T11:33:00.000+05:30

Happy Birthday Danny Baby!!!!!!
The nice-est of people on planet Earth!!!!!

Love you!!!!!

bulb-illuminated-in-my-head #3

2006-08-17T14:56:00.000+05:30

Everyone has to die.
Whether in Spirit or Body, they *All* die.
But life moves on.
Life... it just moves on. Like nothing ever happened.
Bitch!

P.S: I know, not one of my master pieces.

Trapped

2006-06-21T13:52:00.000+05:30

It was another boring day – quite a boring start, or rather a hackneyed start to the afternoon – but that was what her life was relegated to. It was your regular Lazy-Morning-Boring-Afternoon-Evening-spent-waiting-The-night-all-alone routine.

Routine.

Yes that's the word. It was a routine for her. Her routine schedule. The routine she was used to and so on, in that vein. It felt funny, not like the "funny" you feel when you make eye contact with "the" cute guy at the mall, but the fully kind of funny feeling that cannot be explained - its neither happy nor sad, like emotions all pent up, waiting for a trigger to get the right one out.

"Like a vending machine, maybe?"
She said, trying to be helpful to herself, probably.
It was this game she played, where she would talk to herself, and herself would be the stranger. Sometime she'd meet her at the store,

"Hey! What a co-incidence, you also drink Nescafe??!?"
Pretty stupid, you could say, but then it was funny. Probably off the three odd well known brands there was mathematically 33% probability that someone else would also use that brand! But well, for her, and for the "other" her, it wasn't stupid at all!

"Of course, I drink Nescafe, it’s been years. My mom loved Nescafe"
"Ahhh... yes. It’s got this amazing flavor"
"Yeah, and when... oh my... look at that, you're also wearing green"
"Heck... wow! I never noticed it."
"And now you'll tell me you teach Mathema...."
"You mean, you also?? We must be sisters"
And they both got laughing and discussing the intricacies of the Chinese remainder theorem, not because either of them taught mathematics, but because this was jargon she picked up from some website, somewhere.

Then there would be other times she would meet some one else at the hospital. Or at the store, buying maternity gowns.

"Oh it’s such a joy to be a mother!"
She would say to herself aloud. But it was just loud enough for the lady next to her to catch on and smile. And the conversation would go further. She would talk about how she always wants this baby girl. A sweet doll, like no other.
"Boys"!???? She'll exclaim.
"They're just messy pests. I want a daughter, who'll love me like no other"
"You're trying to mend your relationship with your mom, is it", the other lady would ask.
"How rude" she would think and walk away. "Is she a bloody psychologist or what, messing into others personal choices. What a patriarchal society we live in... people only care for boys"
But she wouldn't say that aloud, lest the lady asks "Did you mother want a boy?" "Patriarchal" was another of those internet-picked-up-words!

And so life went on. She met so many people. Neurosurgeons, teachers, software professionals, gym trainers, professional athletes, a cardiologist, pesky housewives, women inflicted with social injustice, and how she'd always want to help them and feel sorry for them. She even met men, at times. When she needed love; needed romance... needed to be touched, kissed, felt wanted, felt loved! Like the boy she met while jogging and the stolen kiss, never to be seen again. Or the ten day romance, during her visit to Calcutta - the guy was a gem of a person, and the way he kissed... mmm....!! Or the boy she met in high school, ten years ago, who still called her secretly and professed his un-dying love for her. And her cute neighbour! Why of course he loves her.
"Have you seen his wife? Balding-fat-wrinkled-face who wears clothes that are two sizes too small for her! How can he even bear her?"
And when she'd see them kissing in the balcony, she'd convince herself it was she who he was kissing.

These conversations never got over. It didn't help she had a vivid imagination and could conjure up the weirdest of scenes! Simply perfect, she'd tell herself after her personal show, take a bow and carry on with life.

"Lonely and trapped in it", and she'd laugh to herself. That's life, afterall!

...

2006-03-25T10:02:00.000+05:30

I thought I'd do a pseudo what-I-gained-from-this-project or what-this-project-gave-me exercise, even before the project closes, so here goes.

First the boring stuff... or maybe I'll just edit it out before typing.
And then what I really really gained or what this project really really gave me,

1. 3 kgs of weight in 5 weeks.
2. Hair so long that rapunzel would be ashamed!
3. Nails so long, that I could use them to kill.
4. Clothes that look like they were made for someone else, not me :(
5. And so on, going on in the same vein and so on.

On a positive note, if that weren't positive enough, but that ain't, therefore, on a positive note...

... I'm getting to it, before I go on again in an infinite loop,
On a positive note, My house is now Wi-fi enabled!
My Desktop, the Printer, Scanner, Fax.... errr... actually... my all-in-one printer, my laptop, Bond's laptop, they're all on the wi-fi network!

This feels good, you know ;-)
Now all I need, to be in heaven, is one good holiday and a lazzzzzyyyyyy sleeeeppppyyy day!

Mmmmmm...

2006-03-24T17:46:00.000+05:30

Ummm.... Errr.... Hi FOLKS!

One of these days, I shall post nice stories... there's one I'm thinking of... umm.... It's about... errr... it's got this.... I don't know actually. There's nothing. All my creativity has been ruthlessly murdered by funny things called test scripts :'(

On the positive side, this project which was supposed to end on the 15th of March and then on the 24th and then on the 27th and then on the 31st of March, shall finally end on the 7th of April! Mmm... I guess.

Till then, can anyone tell me how to find out the last two digits of 2 to the power 15678. Please note, the last two digits and not the last one.

Sadly, my office has blocked orkut.
I'm sad.
The only other way of killing time has gone.
Minesweeper is left, but that ain't all that helpful.
Err... There's nothing much to speak, I don't know why I'm doing this either.
I guess it's the result of an inherent fear that if I don't post, blogger will deactivate my account.
I doubt that will happen.
But Still.
Or maybe my blog gets lost in oblivion.
Or... I don't quite know
Good Bye folks, before I get on to your nerves, all over again
:D

Virus... Virus... Virus...!

2006-02-13T19:09:00.000+05:30

I'm catching the Virus from Charlie Boy!

This is my perfect Re-launch Vehicle considering the fact that February 14th is round the corner and I shall be hunting for a Valentine...

I need one...

Anyone who think they fit into my criteria, do apply!

My Perfect Man:
(Kindly note: Man and not guy/boy/whatever)

1. Should be able to bear me laughing like a maniac and nut case at the rate of an insanity bout every 30 milli-seconds.
2. Should be game for any insanity at a milli-second'd notice. For instance should be ready to go on a life threatening trekking session just for the heck of it.
3. Should love and swear by Bakers Basket Chocolate Cake and Sujata Ice-cream.
(Baker's basket and Sujata Management's listening... I need a cut for the free advertising)
4. Should be amused by my sense of illogical logic - always. Two unconnected statements make logical sense together. Okay?
5. Should kiss me in the middle of the street without any inhibitions what-so-ever!
6. For that matter he should not be embarassed by me acting like a over-sized 2 year old in the middle of the street either.
7. Should have excellently sculpted shoulders. If he doesn't, he better sculpt them before getting to me.
8. Should be skilled in bed. Period. Very Important, else he can go screw himself. All pun intended.

I tag:

1. Mathi boy
2. Charlie
3. Nikky baba
4. Danny Baby
5. Agent R (You better Create a blog now)
6. Daneshia
7. Kiten
8. Sudhakar
9. S M I T H A

Haha... Heh heh... I've tagged 9 people rather than 8

Wild wilderness, a few wild creatures...

2005-12-19T17:16:00.000+05:30

... along with dark, damp long tunnels, some abandoned railway stations and scarrryyyyyyyyy bridges!

Aloha people!
It’s me, with a brand new post.
And something which I certify as "worth posting", which does imply that this won’t be one of those posts where I end up asking what’s making me post and the like!

This is a story of a few people. Wild people… wild creatures ;-)
And one of them, is Me!
I, Me, myself and a few otherselves….!! Yes, that’s the crowd that one fine Thursday afternoon decided to go on a railway route trek! This trek route used to be a meter gauge rail track very much in use, and will soon be a broad gauge track very much in use again; but the point is that currently it is quite abandoned and wild!

Wilderness has its charm, and if you want to experience it, you must walk right from Sakhlejpur which is about 220 km from Bangalore city (give or take a couple) right upto Gundiya - which is another village/town! You could alternately start from Gundiya and walk upto Sakhlejpur. Ideally though, what you should do is Start from Dondigal (about 10-12 km after Sakhlejpur) and upto Gundiya! That of course ladies and gentlemen and the august readership of my blog, is what you should be doing ideally. The keyword here being "ideally". But we don’t quite live in an ideal world, and you and me are not ideal and neither do we have an ideal semi conductor or an ideal metal that transmits power without losses. (Oh boy, I know I’m now a software engineer, but I still swear but electrical and electronics! )

Which should be enough to hint at the fact that we did screw up!
And we’re glad we did.
Else there would have been experiences missed, which makes a rather sad story!
And enough of background building and down to the dirty details ;-)
Here Goes -

Friday evening, at 5 pm after an awesome Pizza lunch with my team and practically no work, I decide to leave office early to get going! So, 6:15 bus on to BTM has me and my bag, my partners in crime and a lot of excitement!

The 22:45 bus from Majestic to Mangalore has me and my bag, and my partners in crime and a lot of excitement all over again! The 10:45 bus duly leaves by 22:55 or so and that’s gee-oh for GO!

It’s surprising, that in spite of being such good kids - no screaming, no shouting, no playing around et al, at 3:30 a.m. on a cold Saturday morning the conductor tells us, he needs to kick us out. And at 3:40 we’re standing below Manjirabad fort with nothing more than (I’m sure you know by now) our bags, our excitement and… well… us - the partners in crime! Some hot masala-nilgiri-mindblowingly-awesome tea follows and up we go. Climbed about 200 steps only to play door-keeper door-keeper to Manjirabad fort that doesn’t open until 8:00 a.m. for visitors! It didn’t matter that we had Mr. Tipu Sultan who incidentally was the creator (?) of the fort and Mr. Prithviraj Chauhan amongst us! Sorry people, esoteric joke. My apologies again! After day break which means after an awesome sunrise from the east and calibrating of my cell phone compass which we wouldn’t need and speaking a hell lot of crap that only voluntarily sleep deprived individuals can talk we headed onto Dondigal station about 3.5kms to the west.

8:15 at Dondigal, we head eastward towards Sakhlejpur where as in fact we should have been going westward towards Edakumeri. But we’re glad we walked 12 km eastward, else we would have missed the most awesome and the scariest bridge of our lives. Full with oil, dew and slippery shoes. Nothing on the right, nothing on the left, nothing in between the steel planks. One step you miss, and it’s a direct upward journey, defying Newton and all his laws! This was steel planks, at other bridges, there were those wooden ones, and some were shaking… like a horror movie wooden plank! At 11:00 am we realize we need to go westward, and so, at 13:00 hours we take a lorry that runs on rail tracks which was supposed to leave at 11:20 and then at 11:45 and reach Dondigal back at 13:30. Life they say, comes a full circle, and to Dondigal’s credit, it is the most dilapidated station on planet earth - or at least on that much of planet earth that I can vouch for…!!!

Destination next: 25 kms (give or take a couple) to Edakumeri. More scccaaarrryyyy bridges, looonnnngggg tunnels, beautiful wilderness, lizards, butterflies, flowers a fall on the tracks a cramped calf muscle, a hurt elbow, a bridge or two crossed after sunset and a few more tunnels and some bats and a moonlight walk - and by 19:30 we were at another excessively dilapidated station Edakumeri! Which incidentally happened to be our halt for the night. It was a no human other than us in one dark scary room along with a one off mouse night and next morning off we were again!

Sunday morning 7:00 am of we go - destination Gundiya. A flop cooking fire, some snakes and assorted creatures along with bridges and tunnels and a five hour walk later we were at Arya Betta! Now we had two options. One was carry on another 10 km to Gundiya and then get to the highway and back home, OR and a rather more interesting option was to get into those tippers that carry huge stones and small stones and sand to and fro mountains and get down 10 km - and we took the more exciting option; the second one, that is! Band bang banging our heads and hands and legs and whatever else you can conceive and think of against every other part of the tipper with a driver who was a first timer and every turn seemed like the last one of our lives we were, miraculously at Gundiya! A 5 minute walk, scrumptious set dosa’s and another 100 meters, we were on Bangalore - Mangalore highway.

That was almost the end of the adventure if you discount the two hours we sat on the steps of the KSRTC "dabba" bus which was quite an anticlimax from the luxury bus we were in on Friday, but it was an equal anticlimax from the tipper we were in some 40 odd minutes ago! And boy, those steps were comfortable, to corroborate their comfort is the fact that I slept like a baby on them for some 15-20 minutes! And 10 odd minutes of the journey was spent standing in a moving bus near an open door! That was where the adventure started exponentially decreasing because you soon get a place to sit in the bus and then fall asleep for another two hours…. Nah… that’s boring, innit?? Lol!!!

I left Bangalore with me, my bag, my partners in crime and a hell lot of excitement! I was back, with me, my bag minus the biscuits and chocolates, my partners in crime, a hell lot of excitement, bruises and muscle aches and an expanse of memories too vast to capture in 20 odd photographs!

Back to Bangalore with a Bang people, and to office with loads of work!

That’s life eh?

Destination next: Kumara Parbat, in another 15-21 days, work permitting!

MIcro Story #4

2005-12-14T17:01:00.000+05:30

Information Overload

Inspired by an information collector in my office.
Clocky loved collecting information about everyone. We call him Clocky for want of a better name. Personal information to be more specific. You know everything, down to the dirty details!

One day, Clocky was sitting. Just sitting. Talking. Smiling. Grinning; and so on. And suddenly. Just very very suddenly his head started hurting and bloating up and and and BANG! There - it just burst open. With all the information rolling away from Clocky. Roll roll roll rolling!!! Poor Clocky - with all the effort he had put in gathering that information; and it was rolling away from him. Clocky wanted to run, but soon realised he couldn't. He was no more human. He was reduced to an open and empty grocery bag with nothing inside it... ... ... ... ...!!!!

Hiatus

2005-10-04T05:33:00.000+05:30

Dear Readers,

After 21 odd years of fun and games, it's time to get my act together. I therefore officially declare myself on a blogging break. "Till When", is something I can't answer, maybe one month, maybe two, maybe more.

Will be waiting to see you guys on the other side of my break.

Cheers,
K!

What happened at Work Today

2005-09-23T22:36:00.000+05:30

1. I realised that after the 1527th signature on the 483rd document my signature actually looks good!

2. HR personnel have beautiful e-mail id's and extension numbers.

3. The coffee dispenser actually dispenses coffee. All you need to do it go around it a couple of times. Look from the right, then from the left, then from the top, towards the wall and so on. Finally after 8 odd minutes request someone to show you how it works - and you know what, it actually works!

4. Bruised my ego, near the coffee dispenser.
X: So, what process are you with?
Me: Err... process?
X: Yeah, process.
Then realising she was a BPO employee, I said more to myself than to her "Oh, you're with the BPO"
X: Yeah, this entire building is the BPO building.
Me: (Walking away) No, I'm with technologies.
Damn the buggers, that was *our* building, for Pete's sake!

5. Checked out the gym. No comments.

On the positive side, we can wear casuals each and every day of the week.
On the negative side, there are no cute guys in our batch. I think that company - Mathematics - down the road that did recruit a couple of really *cute* fellows from the 2002 pass-outs probably recruited all the cute ones this year also :(

That's about it. They call me "Project Engineer", I guess I'll get used to it.

d e j e c t i o n

2005-09-20T18:15:00.000+05:30

1. Ever since I joined engineering in a private engineering college in Pune I was so positive my degree isn't going to be worth even the paper it's printed on. The belief grows stronger by the minute.

2. 62 hours and 10 odd minutes before I'm scheduled to be a part of the software industry that hires so called engineers at whole sale quantities, I'm pretty sure this is not what I really want to do in life. For the past couple of days it was just maybe-maybenot. Now I'm so bloody positive. Damn... no use even swearing now, its too early for that!?!!!!

P.S: Don't swear at the engineers at blogger. Comments have been intentionally disabled for this post.

P.P.S: My firefox keeps performing illeagal operations. I don't even know who to swear at!

P.P.P.S: Thank You for your patience.

Micro Story #3

2005-09-17T23:38:00.000+05:30

Whatever

She sat there. Just there. Typing. Staring. Pretending to type. Copy. Cut. Paste. Undo. Redo. Undo Again. Redo Again. Cut. Cut. Cut. Select All. Delete. Undo. Redo. Once again, a blank screen. No foundation, only floating ideas. "Writer's block", she thought. She sat with one leg on the chair next to hers and one on the floor. "How're you sitting", someone asked her. She dismissed the question with a nod. In five seconds she even forgot someone spoke to her. She was still thinking, "Writer's block".

She saw her sister. Reading out loud. What she really wanted at that time was to pack her in a bag and dump her down the balcony. The sister was after all - nothing more than - in the words of Douglas Adams "a carbon-based bipedal life form descended from an ape", and to carry on in the same vein with due respect to the original author - more specifically she was 14, hyperactive, over curious and down right irritating.

Yeah, Whatever.

Tagged Again!

2005-09-15T06:03:00.000+05:30

The second Tag, if you ignore the coffee tag I was trying to pass around.
And since I am awake since 4 a.m. with nothing particular to do other than trying to reduce my unread mails from a number my calculator refuses to convert to binary to a number I could count on my fingers. But I said, "trying", and it's not a very successful attempt.

That besides, here goes -

Seven things you plan to do before you die:

I had many times compiled those lists 100-things-I'd-like-to-do-before-I-die types, and every time I see something new I want to do that also. However, in no particular order and definitely not in priority -

1. Bungee Jump, White water raft, sail around the world.
2. Design my own house - the complete architecture, interiors, the works.
3. Get myself my own private beach in some exotic island.
4. Get a private pilot lisence and my own little aircraft.
5. Drive a F1 car and race in a couple of off-road rallies.
6. Write(?) a photo-book (Sorry people, can't comeup with a better statement.)
7. Run a marathon.

Seven things you can do:

1. Jog for 30-mins/5.5 km. (I know Anil Ambani does more, but this is about *I can*)
2. Read Atlas Shrugged in 5 hours.
3. Ride my scooty at 70 kph when i'ts supposed to do a max of 60kph. (And screw my engine in the process, but that's secondary)
4. Bullshit my way through 4 years of engineering. (Genuinely not knowing anything)
5. Talk incessantly.
6. Laugh without there being any reason to laugh. (People also call it abnormal behaviour, please ignore them)
7. Wake up at weird hours and have nothing to do.

Seven things you can't do:

1. Resist Bakers Basket Chocolate Cake. (Or anything classified under *temptation*, but then that's the whole point, temptation is not to be resisted... well, whatever)
2. Study. (I haven't done that in my entire life. Will do it one day though... err... should this have been in one of the categories above??? )
3. Sing. (!)
4. Understand the whole idea behind heavy metal. And understand why is heavy metal classified as music.
5. Buy roses of a colour other than red (!!!)
6. Sit in one place for over a few minutes without standing up/walking/fidgeting/etc.
7. Bear people who as per my self-inflated bloody dumb arse ideas of superiority aren't up to my mark.

Seven things you say the most:

1. I swear a lot so a lot of assorted swear words.
2. She/He is so hilarious. (I find a lot of people funny and hilarious)
3. I think the road's going to screw my shock absorbers and the suspension. (I'm too bloody over-protective of my car)
4. Excuse Me?
5. Yeah, whatever.
6. Please, pretty please.
7. Ankita if you *insert something my sister does* again, I'll pack you in a bag and dump you down the balcony!

Seven things that attract you about the opposite sex:

1. Smile.
2. A sense of humour.
3. Self Respect.
4. Intelligence.
5. Big hands. (I have never figured this out myself)
6. Full sleeved Shirts (Ummm... never mind)
7. Powerful Cars (Whatever... yeah... wong category? Well... umm... Hmmm... Drop it)
Thank goodness 7 are done, because that's about all I'm disclosing on a public forum!

Seven Celebrity Crushes:

Seven... okay, so seven off my head. Don't sue me if I change the list tomorrow!

1. Shah Rukh Khan.
2. Abhishek Bacchan.
3. Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing. (Yes, the characters and not really the people)
4. Bon Jovi.
5. Benjamin Bratt.
6. Valentino Rossi.
7. I even thought Ralph Schumacher was pretty *cute* when I used to be 17, and then there was Eddie Irvine... how I miss that character!

Seven People I'd like to tag:

Mathi boy's been tagging some of the the people I'd like to tag, but I'll still re-tag them :D

1. Danny
2. Akshay
3. Charlie
4. Pearl
5. Maximum Dilemma

And any one who'd like to pick this up!

bulb-illuminated-in-my-head #2

2005-09-14T19:02:00.000+05:30

The funniest and clever*est* of jokes is lost if the audience doesn't understand the joke.

Its worse if they don't realise that there was a joke at all ;)

God Bless Godse Bakshi!

2005-09-13T15:52:00.000+05:30

And all other local authors on planet earth. Though Godse-Bakshi-Katre specifically because I remember them on almost all the books I ever had in 4 years.

And god bless the purple cover thin book's author who wrote that wonderful book on MPS.
And god bless the guy who wrote that awesome 100 pages book on RMT.

And god get me a life.
Writing this when I can be doing much better things!

Dedicated to my teachers, with love!

2005-09-05T14:12:00.000+05:30

I'm an engineer today because I had some really awesome people to teach me over the last 4 years. Chances are none of them are going to come across this, but this one's for them. Thank You Teachers, thank you for the last 4 years of my life!

I'm now an engineer!

2005-08-30T21:27:00.000+05:30

An Electronics and Telecommunication Engineer!
Officially and all.

And of course when something has to be done, it has to be done in style.
So, First Class with Distinction it is.

And the First Class with Distinction it is for one of my best friends Danny!!
Here's more about her - the cutest frog in froggy land *grin*
Congratulations Danny!!!!!!

And congratulations Kathak :D

Punny Time

2005-08-28T20:33:00.000+05:30

American's as we all of us know, drive on the wrong side of the road.
Ironically, that's the right side of the road!

Vampires

2005-08-19T16:32:00.000+05:30

I met blood sucking vampires today.
They sucked my blood.
Drop by drop by drop by drop they took the blood.
And then blood filled an entire syringe.
And now I'm so bloodless in life.

And the bad part was, the vampires weren't even pretty :(

The year that was!

2005-08-16T14:30:00.000+05:30

16th August 2004 blogger gave me a really warm welcome. It's been a long journey from the Take One days when I wasn't even sure if I'd post any more than 3-4 posts in a lifetime! It's been a year now, over 100 posts, no less!

Yes, this post will be one of those links-to-all-I-can and getting sentimental over every-fly-that-sat-near-me while I was typing kind of a post, so those who need to, please exit(0);

For starters, its been nice to see my readership grow from what it used to be in those August days! Like Smitha once said, a sister, one college mate, a token nice guy and two anagrams! That was us, those were the days. At this juncture I should claim credit for getting the sister and the college mate to blogging! It's not like I have hundreds of readers yet, though I would love to believe I do, yet as the readers trickle in, it does feel nice, you know :)
This past year has seen it all! A budding love story, which many believe to have started over late night and late morning chats over the yahoo messenger actually had its roots in here, where Mr. Smith, first met Mrs. Smith!

September brought back memories of old jokes from the 8051 days, broken backs, some recycled old posts, a Mills-and-Boonish tale in Part I and II, a bad attempt at writing babies in C to be bettered by the code generator we all love, some fame and what have you!

October saw heroics on display, with Mr. Bond introduced to all of us here along and Agent R's attempt to save the world.

November had more bad jokes, a love story gone bad, and Danny becoming a Superstar!

December should have been a bleak month due to the 7th semester exams but I was surprisingly quite prolific with stories by the sea, realisation of the value of 40, finally managing to complete Cesium 133 which was started wayyy back in October and lost track along the way. There was also some post for the heck of posting, the start of *regional language*... errr... Hindi blogging and before the new year came, we even managed to stereotype the folks from down South!

January was low on posts with only Sandy the loner-now-turned-code-generator worth a mention. February saw more of my obsession with the sea and a rather cheap attention-grabbing stunt! What is the height of depravity? A cheap, and cheap because its not original, un-original attention-grabbing stunt!!!

March not only kick-started the new F1 season, but also a new obsession for stories on obsession. All my favourite people were doing them, so I figured, "why not me?" And we moved on from the seas and the rains to the fields and the balconies! And pin drop Silence.

April was weird, to be honest! First I have this company called Mathematics falling all over me, and then some freak sells off the PM's residence for 35 million rupees... and another freak actually buys it! Secrets exchanged, Life-hits-you-on-the-head kind of realities, a lady in red, a monologue. Phew!! That with the journals all piling up, the project not yet documented and term end knocking at my door!

May was that time of the year when I should have been studying. A direct result was some insanity... actually a lot of it (!!), Aloha's that nobody understood, Anti-Engineering sms's exchanged at a frequency that could put an IGBT to shame, a story of that girl next door; memories of a hot summer afternoon.

Along with June came a couple of viruses. There was the meme and then there was the Ammani virus that has been spreading through the blogosphere faster than SARS ever did in China. Followed by an acknowledgement and another one!!

July got me a job, some tales on the job, random trivia, nostalgia and another micro-story. Come August and you meet Mr. LightBulb, my 100th post and, this ode to my blog, and to all the wonderful people I have come across! Thank you all who made my blogging for a year possible. Thanks Danny, Mathi Boy, Charlie, Pearl and other lurkers out there! Love you all!!!!!!

Cheers,
Kathak!

Nostalgia #2

2005-08-15T10:44:00.000+05:30

Alert: Esoteric post coming up!

For the first time in 4 years I'm going to miss,

The Good,
1. The fight over whether we're "my young soldeirs of MIT" or that "soldiers follow orders blindly you should not just be soldiers"!
2. Shailar mama. And his speeches (which were apparently the same since times immortal) which I never understood.
3. Prof. Rane's: "aaj mee marathith bolnar nahi, aaj mein marathi mein nahi bolunga (he does like tautology... lol) kyon ki mein jaanta hoon ki humare bahut se vidyarthi desh ke alag alag kono se aaye hain .... etc etc"! Does that remind anyone of Chupke Chupke and "hum hindi bolte vaqt angrezi shabdon ka prayog uchit nahi samajhte".
4. And the "yaad karo woh sarhad pe khade sipahi jo barish ki parwah nahi karte, dhoop ki parwah nahi karte, thand mein humari raksha karte hain, jinki vajah se aaj hum yeh din mana rahe hain".
Danny, Agent R and others please feel free to add any other Raneisms you can remember.

The Weird,
1. This lady from the MIT school who would speak hindi with an accent. The Angrez-chale-gaye-mujhe-chod-gaye types!
2. The *cultural* program but the kids that I have not yet been successful in seeing!
3. MIT school choir... Gawd if my school's choir trainer was to come across this, he'd suicide!

And the chaos in the parking lot-cribbing about either the rain or the sun (depending on whether its Aug 15th or Jan 26th)- Asking our HOD for a treat as Aug 15th is his birthday-the socialising in front of the E&TC porch and the list goes on!

And dear people, to keep up the spirit of the day, here's wishing you all a very happy Independence Day and the extended weekend!

P.S: For those of you wondering, I graduated/waiting for my results for officially graduating from a college called MIT Women Engineering College located in Kothrud, Pune.

Et Tu?

2005-08-12T22:48:00.000+05:30

Dear people, since it is currently in fashion to write a post with a reference to Coffee in it, I had cold coffee in the evening, at 1930 IST.

Charlie, Danny, other August readership of the blog, you guys should do one next, a coffee post that is!

Laugh On!

2005-08-07T21:03:00.000+05:30

Why People Laugh [Via Mind Hacks]

What makes me laugh? Uh oh... wrong person. Anything, and in fact nothing at all can make me laugh. Me, however, is an abberation on the face of this earth, so lets move on.

Why do people laugh at all? What is the point of it? Laughter is very contagious and this suggests that it may have become a part of human behaviour because it promotes social bonding. When a group of people laughs, the message seems to be “relax, you are among friends”.

Err... yes sure. But what when you burst into a fit of laughter during a DSP internal viva after coming up with an highly absurd answer totaly unbecoming of a student of DSP with the Vice Principal of the college conducting it? You're definitely not among friends in there. But, I guess we have to remember the abberation.

Indeed, another theory of why people laugh—the superiority theory—says that people laugh to assert that they are on a level equal to or higher than those around them. Research has shown that bosses tend to crack more jokes than do their employees. Women laugh much more in the presence of men, and men generally tell more jokes in the presence of women. Men have even been shown to laugh much more quietly around women, while laughing louder when in a group of men.

Err... I have my smart comments to this one also, however, let it pass... remember the abberation!!

bulb-illuminated-in-my-head #1

2005-08-06T01:10:00.000+05:30

Teaching is a beautiful experience. Every should teach atleast once in their lifetime!

Addicted!

2005-07-29T22:44:00.000+05:30

I'm now officially addicted to su-doku courtesy an addicted 14 year old bugger!

I'm also managing to pass on the addiction to people at work (evil grin @ "work")
Feel welcome to join the club!

Random Trivia

2005-07-24T22:44:00.000+05:30

#1
Today I claimed that the technical interviewer guy who interviewed me for Wipro weighed 20 kgs. Then I discovered a friend's kid brother (like 7 year old brother) weighs 20 kgs. So I claimed that the fellow weighed 40 kgs. Then I discovered my cousin all of 21 years weighs 48 kgs. So I claimed the fellow weighed 50 kgs.

Moral of the story: 20, 40, 50.... it's all the same weight!!!!

#2
I'm scheduled to join Wipro on September 23rd, 2005. Another two months and the holiday comes to an end! Ironically, the date you start working and earning, your planning for retirement also starts. %&#*@$#@$@ I say! There goes that jazzy cell phone with no value for money that I was planning to buy out of my first salary!

#3
There's lots of good food at home. Like lots of Nani ke ghar ki lauki ki barfi and besan and aate ke laddoo. And dabba's full of homemade chiwda and assorted snacks. And I've been stuffing my self to the extent that if I see another morsel of food, I'll fall sick. Well, stuffing yourself to that extent itself is sick. Yeah, Whatever!

#4
Just when I left my cell phone at home so that I can get wet in the rain properly, the rain god's decided that it was enough rain for the day. Talk about bad timing.

#5
I have to teach C++ tomorrow morning 9 a.m. Interestingly the last I looked at C++ code was March 2003. And I can't much recall what C++ is all about!! Why do people bother with it when there's something as nice as C? Silly people, I say! Lets do pointers and data structures in C... why C++??

I need to study. Sigh... talk about "education is a never ending process"!?!!!!!! Irony #(I lost count) On one hand I conducted a test on Saturday which required people to study, and today I have to study before class tomorrow. I never studied this much even in college or examination days!?!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, my cue to exit! Good day, people.
Pray for me, and pray for C++
Let's hope neither of us manage drastically weird things with the other.

Day 4 !

2005-07-19T17:13:00.000+05:30

In the last four years of engineering every conceivable problem on planet earth could be explained with

1. Noise.
2. High/low frequency spikes/transients.
3. Bandwidth/data rate/transistor switching speed
4. Line delay
5. Line of sight
6. EMI/RFI
7. Power factor

Among these 7 points each and every problem, regardless of the subject could be explained. In worse cases a scenario like:

Examiner: So, when you do have a limitation on the switching speed of the IGBT, why don't you use MOSFETs that switch at a much higher speed. While the answer should have stayed clear of point 5, you do come up with smart arse answers like "Sir, could it be because of line of sight?"

And then we wonder why those examiners give us the "you're not fit to be engineers looks!"

However, when this young lady tells me "I want to declare 100 variables and not use an array because I don't like for loops and I'm more comfortable.... blah blah" I wish I could tell her, "And if you do, there would be high frequency spikes that would interfere with the signal and increase the RFI making it necessary for you to use bulky filters and power factor correction!" And then with sadistic pleasure watch the expression on her face.

That was Day 2 at the job!

2005-07-17T00:32:00.000+05:30

No no, not the high profile code generating job that I was placed at in college. That's still way off. And the only solace is that it's probably high profile. So I get myself a part time job till then. No no, not the high profile... shit... I'm repeating myself. Talk about pain. Extreme pain. No, I'm not random blabbering. It's the pain I feel at my job not being high profile. But please don't ask me to define high profile. I really can't. Okay? And I'm not even over the pain of destroying my note books.

Anyway, my job.
So I got a telling from my boss for reading the newspaper on the job at 9 am.
Like Hello... I wake up, goto the gym, rush to this place and I still haven't seen news. That's so screwy!!
So I tell him "But there's nothing lined up to do, so what am I supposed to do?"
And then he tells me "Whatever, but you shouldn't read the newspaper"
And I was thinking "Right dude. You're not thinking IIM-A 2007, I am"
The keyword of course being "thinking". Let's not even get into 99 percentile and those talks!

I didn't even tell you guys what the job is. It's at the local Aptech. Yeah those computer institutes that at the height of the IT revolution made zillions of rupees into fooling poor B. Com graduates that they can be software engineers. Yes. I do have this superiority complex. Engineers are superior creatures regardless of the fact that they can score distinctions without studying. And I hate *inferior* creatures like those lowly B. Com grads into thinking they're software engineers. Fortunately they cannot be mechanical engineers. No people, I don't have a mechanical engineer boyfriend (but don't discount the affinity I have towards mechanical engineers), though I almost had one - the mechanical engineering boyfriend I mean, years ago... only hitch was for one he didn't take up mechanical engineering and then secondly, he wasn't my boyfriend at all. So much for a story!

So, I was at the job. Teaching poor unsuspecting kids about functions in C.
1. So I explain what are functions
2. Why are they needed
3. Library and User defined functions
4. Fill in whatever else you think i could have told
5. Then finally I write this nice little code with a function to add two numbers.
Yeah, right. Very cliched and all that. But it wasn't Kashish #2 that I was writing, it was a C program for kids!

And I tell them to write me some code on similar lines. You know like a program with a function to add two numbers. So this boy, a very perceptive little boy comes up with a code that has

1. The function prototyped
2. The function call
3. Rest of the necessary code
4. Interestingly the function definition missing.

And then he asks me, why on planet earth is he getting errors on compiling!
And I think, "Irfaan Sir, I really miss you!"
I can't understand how he managed sillier questions and stupider mistakes from us girls when he taught us C.

And then one lady, wanted to define her function to add the two numbers itself in main()
She justifies, "if I can write loops in main, why can't I define my functions in main"
And I was still mentally moaning over not having my notebooks on me and not being able to read either the newspaper or my bloglines till 11:30 am!

Later in the day was the fun. The gossip about the boss. Hahahahaha! I wasn't actively into it. I was just listening. Swear! Then of course I was chatting with this woman about what's to be taught next. Getting all nostalgic about the days Irfaan taught us C. And about me acting like a bhatakti aatma bhatkoing through the lab sorting out other people's code since mine used to be written, compiled and executed before the others could finish writing the preprocessor directives! That's probably the only thing I have been successful in doing in engineering college. Writing code in C. Never mind if it wasn't the most secure code... errr.... it wasn't anything close to code all you buggers from whatever certified companies would define as passable and your QA guys wouldn't chuck into the shredder (or whatever they do to dirty code). But it worked. And getting code to work.... oh well... never mind!

So I'm blabberring and the woman asks "hey... were you a rank holder of your college?"
And I very modestly say, "not really, but yeah managed to stay around the 4th/5th position" what I didn't say was once it slipped to 6th or something like that! And they give me this look that could have asked "and what the fuck are you doing here?"

Tell me, and we'll all know!
Yeah. Whatever.
Time to call it a day, I guess!

Micro Story #2

2005-07-12T07:58:00.000+05:30

Ironically, not many people appreciated Irony as you can see here!
However, I shall still march forth with yet another micro story hoping that some day it finds mass acceptance as yet another genre of stories :)

P.S: Danny, I shall write longer ones soon enough.
---

Love?

Everything about him read, "I'm Available"
Everything about her read, "I'm Available"

Like Nescafe says "One thing leads to another",
Sex lead to marriage led to kids led to grandkids and so on and so forth - together.
They managed to fool not only the world, but also themselves that this was "love"!
Or, was it?

Nostalgia #1

2005-07-11T14:55:00.000+05:30

On 27th June, 2005 my association of 33120 hours (that is 1380 days) with engineering college that started on 17th September, 2001 came to an end.

And today the last of the *scrap* papers destroyed. All the papers and datasheets and graphs and diagrams that I had stored with the idea "you never know when I might need it", though I still wonder what the need might have been! Unless you consider a weird sort of an attachment with the papers!

Dear readers, you can ignore the rest. It's an exercise in self-whatever!
Also, on re-reading I don't think it's quite coherent and articulate, but that's what it is. Inarticulate feelings!

Out came visiting card size bunches of papers with all sorts of formulae written, right from first semester Mathematics until almost 5th and some 6th semester subjects. Admitted, that was all I would ever write but it was quite heartening going over every little thing I had written! And then suddenly feeling a void over all those notes taken down in class that were on their way to the raddiwala. I think it was the most painful thing on planet earth to destroy those notebooks! More painful than it would be for anyone to break up with their boyfriends! Trust me, it is simpler letting go of a person than it is of those notes!! One by one they would come out, I would flip through them, read the silly things I wrote in class in *chat* conversations exchanged with fellow class mates. And then remember details of what happened in what lecture and what the prof said while teaching what! And then add the books to the pile of raddi. By the end of it, it actually got too much for me and then I picked back my electronic design notebooks and my project(s) notes, under the excuse that "The notes are good. Ankita can use them when she does engineering". Only problem being, what if she never does get into this murky business called engineering. Talk about piling on scrap! But I still can't part with them. There's so much of me in them... Gawd, I think I'm going to go all sentimental just thinking of it all!

And then there have been these conversations with a friend whenever we meet up. The going over how "silly" M1, M2 and M3 were. And the crazy things we did in the papers, actually remembering each and every detail, every exam paper, every viva, every practical exam! I think I'm seriously going to do that series - This post truncated here, next post coming up soon!

No, the bombings in London haven't perpetuated to Pune

2005-07-09T19:15:00.000+05:30

Dear Readers,
And dear nice reader who e-mailed me to ask if I'm alive,

I very much am alive, thanks for asking, though I sniffed a hint of sarcasm in the "Kathak are you alive" as the rest of that sentence read "or has the terrorist attack in another part of the world perpetuated to where they humanly cannot", didn't sound like genuine concern to me. I, however, remain thankful for your concern *evil grin*.

Since I have not yet been able to put into rtf a new post from the vague data floating in my mind, here's something to keep you occupied!
Insects and Entropy [Link via]

Cheers,
K!

Resurrection

2005-06-29T23:30:00.000+05:30

Dear Readers,

This is an attempt to resurrect my Hindi Blog from strong clutches of oblivion!

Love,
Kathak

Irony

2005-06-29T18:51:00.000+05:30

Note: I had thought of writing these really *short* stories many moons ago, but thought they would fall back flat on my face. However, inspired by the success of Ammani's Quick Tales, here I go!

----
She was 17
He - 51

She was a social butterfly, her parents adored her, her friends loved her, her teachers thought she was their best student.
He had an ugly divorce, kids who thought he wasn't worth their time, friends who thought he was too rich for them, employees who thought he was a very heartless employer.

He made passionate love to her.
She told everyone "the sex was good".

A quote

2005-06-25T12:48:00.000+05:30

I had come across this in the days I used to read "motivational" and "inspirational" stuff like the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. At one time I used to even subscribe to their stories that they sent directly to your mailbox. The nice folks that they were didn't pester me with Spam once I signed off the mailing list. (Those who know me well enough know how much I HATE Spam.) I've probably long outgrown them, but a quote from I think one of the soup for the teenagers soup series of books keeps haunting my brain,

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

Google Baba directed me to the source of the quote, that many people (the book included) pen as "Source Unknown"

Lifecycle of Bloggers!

2005-06-19T22:29:00.000+05:30

A highly hilarious read!!
[Via Kiruba]

And so true!!!
Guys, you just have to read this!!!!!! It's worth every blogging minute :)

Btw, Mathi Boy, does this ring a bell somewhere *evil evil grin*

You cry about comments that certain people make to provoke you. You bitch about these things as well. Then you take into consideration that comments were made by pimply 14 year olds who post jpegs of their warcraft characters online and realize that these lOZeRs aren’t worth your time. This gives you an sense of superiority. Haha! you say to yourself. I have a posse and a blog and you don’t. So fuck off, you lame twat. Hazzah!

And, "My love", this one's for you ;)

#8. You have a pseudo flirty im/blogging/flickr flirting relationship with another blogger whom you have never met.

ROTFL!!!!!
Awesome stuff, I tell you people.
Sorry Danny, couldn't find anything for us :(

Acknowledgements

2005-06-13T21:35:00.000+05:30

I was glancing through my dad's BE project report (Random Trivia: Dad had won the gold medal for his BE project. Yeah... his university (U o Roorkee, now IIT Roorkee) used to give gold medals to the "best project" kind of a thing.) So, after multiple cursory glances through it over the years I decided to read it for once, now that my report is all printed and all. And as against a very "prim and proper, mind your P's and Q's" sort of an acknowledgement from our report, his has stuff like "without whose able and consistent guidance this work would have ended in a mess of complexity and perplexity"!!!! (Emphasis mine)

So, what should have my acknowledgements page actually read? Here goes.... !

We would like to foremost thank Mr. SP and Mr. KPM of M/s IEI for being voluntarily coerced into sponsoring our project. Although Mr. SP had personal interest in sponsoring this project, as his daughter would not have otherwise been able to complete the degree course in E&TC Engg., and all the money he spent as college fees and overheads in the last four years would have gone down the drain. We further thank Mr. SP for personally giving the print command for 7 copies of the report, giving us colourful pens and letting us use his office and the company conference room to make ourselves comfortable with paper and paper all around.

We like to thank Mr. KPM for not protesting against taking up the project and personally guiding us through out the project. It was surprising that he made no protest against us using the company server as our little toy box and downloading everything from Firefox 1.0 to Yahoo Messenger onto it along with the IDE, but the IDE of course was secondary. We also thank him for letting us play with the paper in his shredder, eating all the stocked kurkure, coded appams (I still can't pronounce this, so "coded" it is), the murukku, the good day biscuits and other assorted snacks. We also thank him for using his cabin as our base camp and the visitor's lounge as our bedroom for afternoon naps. We also thank him for entertaining us with pictures of his scuba diving and flying trips and for the chocolates we polished off after lunch every day. We further thank him for accepting empty chocolate wrappers and accepting the fact that chocolate isn't good for him and so we should finish it.

We would like to thank Mr. RM of IEI for putting up with us for an entire year and even laughing at our non-jokes. We further thank him for "accepting" our calls after office time on his cell phone and hot hitting "reject". The number of times he printed and reprinted our diagrams is highly humbling for us. And then taking care that all the components we need are available as well as personally taking the PCB films for development.

We also thank Mr. D of IEI for not letting us touch the solder iron lest we damage the verrrryyyy expensive PCBs or ourselves in the process. We however appreciate his restraint when we used the solder metal to make funky designs out of solder metal and jewellery out of resistors and capacitors and crabs out of ICs that we blew because of subjecting them to extreme current.

We would like to thank Prof. CVK for accepting the fact that we would not report to him till the end of the year and the other staff and lab assistants for putting up with silly questions that are not becoming of the 3rd and 6th rankers of the college.

We next like to thank all the other people who were directly or indirectly a part of this endeavour of ours. Notable among those,

We thank Mr. Mathivanan-only-chats-while-at-powerway-Subramaniyan for sodding off all his colleagues who wanted him to help them with the work and giving company to Kathak throughout December-January while the PCBs were routed at night India time. We also thank him for keeping company throughout February and a good part of March while the software was being developed which was anyway scrapped by hitting "delete" on fine frustrating afternoon. However his contribution in talking about important matters ...errr... generally klj* specific and a hell lot entertaining is highly appreciated.

We would also appreciate Mr. Kiten for making time to be a part of conference chats with Kathak, AgentR, Danny and Mr. M from the above paragraph and not understanding what "khopcha" we were talking about and the "Beta Mathi" funda or about Maha Danny Devi's maha kripa and refusing to bow down before her. Which saddened us a lot but it was highly entertaining at his expense of course :))

We further like to thank Charlie, who conspired with Kathak and Danny against Agent R and Agent Smith.

Thank You all, without your constant support this project would have been a royal screw up operation with nothing to ever remember in life. Had it not been for you guys, probably 10 years down the line we'd look back and say "Err... project. Yeah we developed a fucking sexy project. No, we don't have any memories"

Thank You!

----

P.S: People, while writing the last part of this acknowledgement (Which on the onset was just two sentences in my mind) I think the "No, we don't have memories" is already void... these memories are going to last a life time. And I guess, Agent R shares my sentiments on this one!

P.P.S: "klj" was coined on June 13th, 2005 sometime in the afternoon during a chat with Charlie and it means "nothing" i.e "klj" and "nothing" are synonyms!

The virus hits EKUK

2005-06-10T16:45:00.000+05:30

Fellow bloggers, the virus that has been spreading around the blogosphere has finally hit Ek Kathak aur Uski Kathayen via Trivial Matters.

Here Goes -

1. Volume of books/music owned?

I never really counted the books. Can see around 30 as I type this. Then there were those days of collecting the famous five/hardy boys/five find outers then the Nancy Drew's which by themselves would have been a collection of over 100. The the books you read when you outgrow this stuff. Surprisingly the only books I never really "collected" were mills and boons... wonder why... Anyway, I estimate 500+ as the number of books owned.

A quick glance through my PC, says I have over 11GB of music on the PC itself. Plus an assortment of music I've bought but never managed to rip and copy to he PC. A lot of that 11GB has been stolen and collected from the 100 rupee "mp3 cds"... a lot of which is trashy and not worth listening to, while about 1GB (classic pieces) have been collected before the demise of Napster and AudioGalaxy.

2. Last book/CD I bought?

The last I bought were two books (for myself) when I was buying a few books for my sister as her birthday present. To Engineer is Human, by Henry Petroski and An Equal Music, by Vikram Seth.

The last music I picked up was the soundtrack of the movie Swades. I'm a total AR Rehman fan and don't mind blindly picking up stuff he composes!

3. Books/Songs that mean a lot to me.

Books -->

The Mystery of the Spiteful Letters by Enid Blyton.
This was the first "book" I read after the tons of Tinkle and Chacha Choudhary I had spent the first 8-9 years of my life on. This book got me introduced to novels, stories and of course the most endearing character that could ever be contrived - Frederick Trotteville a.k.a Fatty!

May it Please Your Honour by Nathuram Vinayak Godse.
This is the statement that he read out in the court justifying his act of killing Gandhi. This book was my first insight into a totally different facet of MK Gandhi, and a good part of it made much more sense than what my history books always taught me. But then history is always written by those who win the war.

Ayn Rand - Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged.
It was in these books that I found words to thoughts that were hazy and inarticulate. I was reading Atlas Shrugged and almost died nodding my head in agreement - and the very famous "I swear - by my life and my love of it - that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine"

Collected Fiction - Ruskin Bond
If there was anyone who makes a simple story so alluring, it has to be Ruskin Bond! I first read him in the 8th standard in a chapter in my English textbook. The next I got my hand on a Ruskin Bond piece was sometime in my 11th/12th standard. He doesn't need elaborate people, sets, timelines - nothing. Just "Rakesh" and his "Granddad" and a "Cherry Tree", and the most enthralling story you can come across!

Music -->

Strangers in the Night - Frank Sinatra
Groovy kind of love - Wayne Fontana
Always - Bon Jovi
Nothing's going to top us now - Starship
I'll be there for you - The Rembrants
Jamaican farewell - Harry Belafonte
Amond hindi music, there's "Dil Se" (the title track), "Chupke Se" from Sathiya, The title track of "Swades". From the older days there "honton se cho lo tum", "huzoor is kadar bhi na itrake chaliye" from the movie Masoom, "yeh kaun chirakaar hai".

The list of songs I've put in here is pretty ad hoc, and could grow the minute I hear some track and go like - "hey, that one too!"

4. Additional Points

This isn't part of the original meme, but I'd like to add. Anyone who really wants a good laugh at Arundhati Roy's expense should read the "Algebra of Infinite Justice". It's the crappiest collection of her political essays! I also have never been able to understand how people enjoy reading PG Wodehouse. I guess that's a mystery that I'll never decipher!!!!

And do hear Tarzan and Jane by the Toy Box.... its real rofl material!

Nominations

I pass this onto Mathi, Danny, Charlie , Pearl and anyone else reading this who would like to take it up. If you guys don't want to do both the books and music, do at least one of them!

F I V E

2005-06-04T11:45:00.000+05:30

More days of those theory exams. After which, I'll not write another BE E&TC paper for as long as I live. Five more days, Two more papers. I can't wait for this to get over!!!!!

Coming to think of it, I don't why I'm doing this post. Some sort of a posting addiction? Like a "I have to hit the publish button" compulsion :D

And one hot summer in '97

2005-05-27T21:13:00.000+05:30

Note: This entry was originally posted on June11, 2004 at my ex-blog (grin!) at blogdrive. Though this trivia may not be of much use, this incidentally was the first piece of fiction I wrote, sometime in January 2000. In retrospect though, I wonder why and how 15 year olds fall in love :D

It was just another day. She was at the computer, checking the mails she got.

Meet Priya. She's 15, a not so bright student, a little on the wrong side of the weight scale and no way part of the "in" crowd in school. She wasn't particularly awaiting her standard 10 results; neither was she awaiting college. Or maybe she was, with the hope that things would be different
there.

It was another April afternoon in Pune. The mercury was rising; the hum of the air conditioner was getting too much for her.

"Damn!"

A little after 2:00 p.m., can't even go out for a stroll. And she logged on to the console. Yeah... a little over 15 forwards.... check all.... delete... wait. There was something else.

"Who's writing to me, now?"

Maybe, just maybe, looking at the subject line you and me would not have read that mail, however, it was the year 1997, and mail accounts didn't need spam guards, yet. Besides, Priya had never heard of spam.

She read the letter.
Some weirdo maybe.
Wants to be friends. Got my mail address from some online group.
"Right, like I give a damn about it."

Maybe it was the mercury, or some restlessness inside her, something wanting to break free, wanting to scream, wanting attention. She replied. And she forgot. A couple of days later another letter. And so the liaison started.

She metamorphosed into Priya, 15. Looking forward to life. With hopes and dreams. She wanted to be a commercial pilot. Wanted to soar the skies.

He spoke of books, of poetry.
She told him she wrote poetry.
He told her she writes well.
Every time she checked her inbox he was there for her.
She told him about her fears.
He told her, "I'm there for you"
She needed a friend; he was there.
She fell in love; he did too.

She could feel him with her, in every moment of the day.
In the gym, and while jogging.
In the kitchen, in the bedroom.
Everywhere.

He was with her when the rice was all burnt up or the milk spill.
You know the first time I cooked.... it was a total disaster. The utensils were charred. My mum actually had to buy new ones.

He was with her when she twisted her ankle or pulled a muscle.
When I was a junior in High School, I decided to impress the chicks... Sorry, the girls in my class.
She was laughing, not just "lol" ing. And bicep curls with 10Kgs when you can't as much lift a couple of books....you know... fell flat on my face! She still can't figure how he "fell flat on his face"...!!

He was there when she went shopping
I think green kameez with a slighter darker salwar looks awesome. Oh, and add silver bangles to it. Perfect!
I'll take two dozens. The plain silver ones, please. Thank You.

He was there when she went to sleep. She could feel his presence. His lips on her neck, his arms in her hair. She, in the comfort and security of his arms. He never told her what he looked like. She was sure he had strong shoulders and big hands.

------
Days turned into months. There was an eerie sort of a relationship building up in there. It wasn't love, not the Lets-get-married-kind-of-love, at least. Or was it? Soon he became Priya's centre of attention. His words forever encouraging her. She found confidence from every word he said. She looked beyond the clichéd life she thought she was going to live. She even grew out of the false cocoon she had built around herself. She looked at the world in its face. He did more than anything anyone could have done. He got her to look at the, as hackneyed as it may sound, the "real" Priya.

She went to Junior College, perusing commerce. He into Graduate school. He was going to be a lawyer soon.

------
It was another late evening in May. Un-seasonal rains. Was it 3, or maybe 4? Didn't matter... For that matter, nothing really mattered. Even he didn't matter any longer. She couldn't believe what she was reading, she didn't want to.

"I'm getting married. She's an old family friend's daughter."
"No... He can't get married. He. Just. Can't. Get. Married."
"But he is. "
How could she stop him?
Put into writing what she never did?
Tell him she loved him?
But... Did she love him?

That's when it struck home.
She built a world around him.
Another
cocoon.
Another life jacket.

"But two years of association does warrant some honesty at least?"
"What honesty? "
"You can't be honest with him?"
"I don't know... can't tell him"

And so, she went from denial to acceptance to being blasé.

The rest of his conversation was a blur. He seemed excited. And he was the most important person for her. No, she realised, she has to be the most important person for herself.

"Hey, you wanted to tell me something before I bullied you into listening to me."
"Priya, where on earth are you lost?"
"Priya???? "

"Yeah, sorry. I was telling you, I'm going to Australia for my graduation."
"That's neat!"

She was realising she didn't need life jackets to go on. In letting go of the others, she got hold of him. She had to learn to swim. Correction. she learnt to swim. He had taught her to swim, against or with the tide.

His parents found him a prospective companion; she found a companion in her own self.
He got married; She didn't cry.

------
Today Priya is one of the most sought after finance consultants in a major business hub in Australia. The silver bangles still on her hands, the green fabric in the closet.

... and everybody thinks it was an accident

2005-05-25T01:45:00.000+05:30

The first time I met him was in a hotel room. Not the sleezy "pick up" kind of hotels, but the finest of them. That incidentally is the place where I meet all my lovers; each and every one of them, including Sumit.

Mine is not your regular story. My story is slightly different. I never ran away from home to be picked up by a guy who runs a brothel and put into sex trade. I calculated the risk and got myself into it. I'm not the cliche the documentary filmmakers and social workers talk about; the kinds they pride in telling you. Speaking in a bloody condescending manner like they're doing a world of good. I think they're just bitches all around with such shoddy and sad sex lives that they would enjoy more with battery operated vibrators, if you get my point. I don't believe in the vibrators either; I'm a proud whore and I take pride in teaching the art of lovemaking to the crappiest of them "lovers".

Coming back to my story, I was the typical middle class girl who grew up influenced by the school of thought that said sex wasn't bad, it wasn't a taboo. I also realised the quick money in the business and I loved money. I loved finery; rich clothes, jewels and the finest of food money could buy. I knew the risks. I also knew for a girl like me I need the right contacts, and contacts, for a urban girl like me were aplenty... like how men hang around a good looking woman. All those rich kids looking for a thrill, a change... just one night of pleasure. And what I night!!! Those sexy cars, the plush hotel rooms, great food and 5000 rupees in one night. All in hard cash. Pretty straight.

My parents? Well, I told them I work in a call centre. Not very off the truth, is it?
Got married. To a "colleague's friend."
Who I met at a "social dinner."

I saw all kinds of the men.
Sampled each and every one of them.
Taught them a lot, learnt a lot.
I still relied on Public transport though, since I never knew how to drive.
Enjoyed a lot. A hell lot.
Sex. Money. That must be what they call heaven!

-----
Sumit was a nice guy.
Now he's dead.
His wife killed him.
All those who die are "nice guys", but this one genuinely was.

He's dead, because he accused his wife of being a whore in less than 2 days after his wedding. And he didn't want to be married to a whore.
She was a whore.
Only he didn't know that.
He thought she was his friend's ex.

She knew he didn't know the truth about her. She didn't intend him finding out either. She just hoped to keep juggling her business around like she did with her parents. There was only one mistake. But that's history anyway, why talk about it?

She inherited all his money.
But she stills works, still averages 75000 rupees per month, all in cash.
She still uses public transport to get around for work, because she never knew how to drive.

-----
I killed my husband, and everybody thinks it was an accident.

SMS Time!

2005-05-24T18:31:00.000+05:30

Every exam time the innovative against engineering sms's start pouring in. And some of them so fucking hilarious that I decide to post them for all to see and then I forget. And then I forget the joke all together. (Regardless of the huge stock of random trivia I remember, I'm really bad at remembering jokes!)

Teacher: You have to aim for atleast 60% this time.
Engg. Student: I'll get 75% marks.
Teacher: You got to be kidding me.
Engg. Student: Yeah I am, but you started it

ROFL!!!!!

And there was this pseudo-shayari

Yeh exam se rishte bhi ajeeb hote hain
Sab apne apne naseeb hote hain
Reh jate hain jo nigahon se door
Wahi questions compulsory hote hain

Captcha's for blogger?

2005-05-22T18:30:00.000+05:30

Some days ago, I edited a published post and noticed a small text box that I had to manually fill in before it let me publish my edited post. Which I thought was pretty neat because blogger has been publishing posts of mine before I could either hit the publish button or the keyboard shortcut for it (ctrl+s, that I came across once upon a time when I accidentally hit it, subconciously thinking I was working in MS Word.)

For the fun of it I edited another couple of posts on various occasions (including the same post again) and never noticed the captcha again.

Anyone else came across it, or is it just me?

ALOHA

2005-05-19T23:09:00.000+05:30

Sounds like a war cry to me.
Regardless of either the Hawaiian or the computer networks connection.

But anyway. When I was a kid, of maybe 5 odd years we had gone to Trivandrum. My dad's sister was there. Her husband works for ISRO and at one time our very esteemed President used to be his immediate boss. (That's your random trivia for today #1.) So the train we went by stopped at this place. Beautiful scenery and all that jazz. Probably the train guy knew we were first timers. The after some 20 minutes the train re-started and moved at a decent enough and constant velocity (in hindsight I'd say probably 60kph, or at least it felt like what it feels when you stick your neck out of the car window when the car is at 60kph) And then it took us some 40 minutes to reach the station. After which on travelling barely 2km from the station we find our self right next to the place where we were stationary for 20 minutes. (That's your random trivia for today #2.) Maybe that was the train guy's cue to the stowaways to jump out of the train. Not that there was much checking at the station in any case. So they could have got down there itself.

My point being, that's all there is to my association with Mallu land. Unless you discount the sweet Mallu girl I met at the gym some 5-7 times who weighed just 0.5 kgs more than I do. (That's your random trivia for today #3)

The reason I've been talking of Mallu's is, when my networks proffie says "Slotted Aloha" I get this feeling that a Mallu is on his death bed asking for water. (That is NOT random trivia :D)

For those who still haven't figured, that was *the* joke.
Every time I read "Slotted Aloha" I literally start rofl ing.
I even made Pearl say it out at least two dozen times, maybe more, and it just kept cracking me up. The Slotted Aloha, not the Mallu on his bed.
Every time I type "Slotted Aloha" I burst into peels of laughter all over again.
Someone stop me.

P.S: Danny thinks "ALOHA" sounds like something sad. I still maintain it sounds like a war cry.

UPDATE:
This is what happened on yahoo messenger after the post was published :D

BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
kathak: was just abt to log off
Danny: :)
kathak: i wrote a new post, btw
Danny: what wrere u doing
Danny: ok
Danny: i'll check
kathak: :)
kathak: its short
kathak: do it and give me your feedback
Danny: hmm
Danny: wait
Danny: hmm
Danny: hey this mouse isn't working properly
kathak: what is it doing?
kathak: maybe the ball whatever thing needs cleaning
Danny: hmm ok
Danny: hey it is a nice post
Danny: yeah, the ball needs cleaning.
kathak: okay
kathak: that was quite tentative
Danny: but why do u laugh at slotted aloha?
kathak: i don't know
kathak: i've been laughing since afternoon
kathak: like a maniac
Danny: i didn't get *the joke*
kathak: good
kathak: not many ppl will
kathak: in fact not anyone besides me would
Danny: tell me na
Danny: and what has it got to do with malluland?
kathak: the joke is
Danny: tell tell tell!
kathak: that "slotted aloha" makes me laugh
kathak: because i keep imagining a mallu asking for water
kathak: on his death bed
Danny: so?
kathak: so nothing
kathak: i just find it funny
Danny: what has slooted
Danny: oops
Danny: slotted
Danny: and aloha
Danny: got to do with a mallu asking for water on his death bed?
kathak: i don't know
kathak: and thats the joke
Danny: :(
Danny: seems i'm in no mood to understand ur kinda jokes
kathak: thats okay
kathak: i don't know whts so funny abt it actually
Danny: hmm
kathak: its just funny
Danny: hmm
kathak: without a reason funny
Danny: hmm
kathak: maybe it'll go down in history as my own private joke
Danny: something being funny without a reason
kathak: yeah thats it
kathak: my own private joke
Danny: is in itself funny
Danny: hmm
kathak: the thought of my own private joke makes me go all rofl ing
kathak: all over again
Danny: everybody has their own private jokes
Danny: :)
Danny: and u can have urs
Danny: slotted alohas :(
Danny: and whatever
kathak: :D
Danny: :D

Cost of not innovating

2005-05-15T12:32:00.000+05:30

Yeah, that's *not* innovating.
Ruth Ann Hattori writes about being so obsessed with "ROI" that you miss out on the limitations of it.

She says,

This isn't about doing away with metrics such as ROI; it's about understanding their limitations. The ROI of innovation is much more complex and has a different time horizon than calculations for a capital equipment project or, indeed, any other project where the outcome is relatively predictable. Innovation does not necessarily produce results on a timeline that fits a GANTT chart; a lot of innovation is about creating the future ... the long term future, not just next quarter's or next fiscal year's.

Link via Innovation Weblog

Assorted Insanity

2005-05-13T12:24:00.000+05:30

Non-Hindi Readers, My apologies. The text below may not make much sense to you. You could however, try an assorment of Translation Services available around you. I profusely apologise for the inconvinience caused.
----

4 years of engineering, or rather 4 years in an engineering college can drive any normal person insane, or so they say. I don't know about driving any one insane, lest of all me... (I'm exceptional, I'm too good, and I'm already infinitely insane. So infinity+anything...... )

But then, there times when I wonder if there is a value greater than infinity.

You would wonder too, if you left your paragraphs incomplete (like the one above :)) )

And when you find your self making statements like

1. Jabh woh building badi ho jayegi, tabh kaafi acchi dikhegi

2. Arrey... woh hanuman ki dukan 10 bajah tak to jagi reheti hai, baadmein recharge coupon le lenge.

3. (And once while talking of the virtues of the controller in my project) Woh itna chota isliye hai kyon ki all the ports are bit addressable. To woh khata bhi chote chote bits hai... (Don't ask me what I was trying to say, I'll be glad if I figure that out myself)

4. What's the issue with calling up Boston ya? Just goto the US and make a international call. (Err... international call to?)

Which brings me to the cases of the confused-with-too-much communication media.

1. (While speaking to one of my dad's engineers who was helping me with my project)

I could mail the file in, and if I come there, I could download it on the server, and get it to you on a floppy (since there was some reconfiguration of the lan and all PCs weren't connected to the server)... but would anyone have the keys to the room? (How difficult was it for me to carry the file on a floppy from home, I'm still trying to figure out)

2. (While speaking to my project partner)

Mail it to my account, and cc it to yours also. I'll download it at home, go over it, if there are any changes I'll make them, mail it to both of us. And I'll mail it to dad also, so he can download it there. (Then my friend interrupts.... "and carry a copy with you on a floppy and the USB drive") yeah, that I'll do.....and then we can copy it on the server and transfer it to Rajesh's PC. (How complicated, all for a less than 400kB)

But you can't blame me...

See I have friends who's pretty crazy.

The same friend who interrupted me midway up in the last example

1. Agar mein gaadi ki front seat pe baithoongi, toh tum logon se jaldi ghar pahunch jaoongi

2. Barish mein kapde dhoge to woh geele ho jayenge

And then another friend on an international call tells her bf (on the other end)

Mujhe aisa kyon lag raha hai ki tum aaj kaafi door se baat kar rahe ho (on a day when the delay in the line seemed more than normal)

And now collective intelligence.

Once on a lab session on fibre optics, for some absurd reason the nature of the readings for the "propogation losses" and "bending losses" got interchanged (It was because we screwed up, obviously... but then) some smart arse (I believe the same interrupt girl from above) comes up with

"Hume pata hai hum bending losses kar rahe hain, lekin fibre ko kaise pata chalega?"

And all of us were pretty much in solemn agreement with the answer!!

On second thoughts, like on a sign off note, I should change the statement above which says "But you can't blame me, I have friends...." Maybe its the other way round. Maybe I induced the insanity... and then because of that induced insanity and the insanity here, there was some amount of mutually induced insanity and then... maybe I need to stop.

But Infinity+anything= infinity ??????

P.S: People if you didn't find anything funny, party, you just tested negative for dementia. On the other hand if you did find it funny, party again, you're perfectly fine, its just some people who have zero sense of humour!

Reasons why...

2005-05-03T11:13:00.000+05:30

... Electronics and Telecommunication Engineers should ~~not~~ produce movies

1. Munnabhai VHDL (personally I would preffer Munnabhai ASIC)
2. Hamara electron aapke paas hai
3. Noise mil gaya
4. Radar se target tak
(maybe transmission se reception tak?)
5. Kabhi UJT kabhi BJT

Got these on my cell today morning.
Needless to say, but still for formality sake, additions are welcome :)

A monologue

2005-04-27T17:28:00.000+05:30

Note: Guys really sorry about the mess up... for those who read the post when blogger messed up... deleted half my post for no rhyme or reason.

Have I ever told you how much I loved you?
Maybe I never told you enough, maybe I can't tell you ever
Everything I have ever done, or will do had been for you alone
No, I did not mix my tenses with "will do had been for you"

Of course it has been for me also
But it always sought your approval... subconsciously
Because you meant a lot for me, more than anyone else could
I told you once, years ago...
I iterate and reiterate "no one can ever fill you shoes"
I could have fought the world for you... alone
Because you were my world, you were everything for me
Everything

You made me smile... laugh
You made me feel worthwhile... wanted... needed
Secure... invincible... respected... loved
You were my confidence
My back up plan... my fall back
My best friend - The worst critic
My Strength
My biggest weakness

Does loving you entail loving *everything*?
Do you know what love is?
Does it need courage? Or do you just love?
Is love another abstract, or is it tangible?
Can you love the dead?
Another obsession?
It all began with you - not just metaphorically
It all did end with you, once again literally

Is there life after death?
Do hero's make grand comebacks?
Do you really think you control everything in your life?
Life is best unplanned?
Does that also imply plans can go horribly wrong?
Like parasitic capacitances that were never on the designer's mind.
What if someone else writes the end - or the last chapter?
What if?

But the end of a chapter is not the end of the book
Will you make a comeback, back in the present tense
Will you come back to "are" from "were"
The game is not over... yet
Not the final curtain
It's never over till the fat lady sings
After all, the phoenix did rise from its own ashes
Can you?