Ek Kathak Aur Uski Kathayen

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

SEX !!

And now that I have your attention*, we can talk about software; the most functional, most used and abused word in the lexicon today!!

We have this subject Electronic Measurement and on page 425 of the local author there is this digital FFT analyser. Of course when you talk of FFT there have to be complex mathematical equations and butterflies and all things of the kind, however they're not in focus as of now. So, somewhere in the middle of a lecture...

"What happens after analog to digital conversion of the input signal"
"Sir, the FFT is computed"
"Yes. How do you compute the FFT"
"Sir... the software does it"

Cut to, Communication Networks class with this really low on IQ woman trying her best to explain something with the terms "framing", "error control" and "flow control" w.r.t the data link layer, but she is - as always - unsuccessful in every attempt and finally goes back to

"Its impossible to teach your class. Accha toh tell me ki how many layers are there in OSI reference model"
No.... not, not again!
"Now tell me are these physical layers or logical layers"
Murmurs of "physical" and "logical" all over the class... (with just two possibilities, the probability of each is a good 50%) The woman shaking her head in disgust again and after some time somehow we manage to freeze on logical, though we cannot be sure, yet.
"Arrey baba, now tell why are logical layers called logical layers?"
"Ma'am.... err.... because they're not actually there" Very logical?
"Then what is there"
And then ofcourse what you all have been waiting for "Ma'am..... software!"
And then the software is being blamed(!) for everything that could be there!

Cut to, Consumer Electronics.
Now, with consumer electronics you'll expect a lot of electronics
(and a lot of television all over again, but anyway)
So, the IT God was talking about Compact Disc recording and playback, when

"If there are errors on the bits stamped onto the CD, then how are these errors rectified"
"Sir, when the disc is being read, the error correcting codes take care of the errors"
"Yes, but where"
And I give you no prizes for guessing the correct answer "Sir, in the software!"

And the IT God was genuinely amused that in spite of the availability of complex data processing electronic circuitry we talk about software! And of course, the sound of "complex data processing electronic circuitry" is so potent that makes you want to work on it, right then right there!
And to quote the great man, the IT God, "Software, its a word you can use everywhere these days, eh?"

And, then to corroborate the truth in the wise words of teh IT God, we have our project to recon with. Now any questions to our project guide return just one answer "We'll take care of it in the software"

Yes, it's a strange world.


* I believe this is how subway advertised in some country, where the billboard screamed "SEX", and then they said "Now that we have your attention, eat at subway" !!


  • At 7:28 PM, February 22, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    good trick to get attention.

  • At 8:15 PM, February 22, 2005, Blogger S m i t h a said…

    u theif! subway too!! thats my idea!!
    other than that :) nice post.

    `software` is indeed used like it is the only slut in town. i remember seeing an underwear billboard in trichy: a geeky looking elderly guy working on a computer holding brand-X underwear and the line reads `best softwear i have worked on`.....GIVE ME A BREAK.

    u know something interesting, software should be the cause of the next world war. if not explain why `set of war` is an anagram of `software`!!

  • At 8:27 PM, February 22, 2005, Blogger Akshay said…

    Your google ads is serving me ads such
    as Bharatanatyam Music CDs and Professional Belly Dancers AND all this at one mention of SEX.

  • At 5:47 AM, February 23, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sudhakar, thanks. But I guess the credit goes to subway!

    Smitha, the credit DOES goto subway because you never implemented the idea first, they did! And well, i like the sound of "used like its the only slut in town"...!!

    Akshay, ironically my google ads are asking me "Nobody reads your blogs"? And I thought SEX was enough of a attention grabber!

  • At 4:12 PM, February 23, 2005, Blogger Rahul said…

    Nice post Kathak.

    The description of "Comminication Networks" class was really funny.

    I have seen some profs similar to the lady you talk about.

  • At 12:29 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger IJ said…

    Hmm.. sex .... quite an attention grabber ...
    And what was all that gobbledygook ?? FFT ... I heard about FET ... Hmm .. must be sth similar ...

  • At 3:07 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Rahul my networks class could be a series of posts in itself... all saved for a date when I actually know something about the subject!

    Junkie, :)

  • At 4:10 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger AmitKen said…

    Software! whether its used or abused, it's my 'Roji-Roti'...

    Hail Software!

  • At 10:05 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    >>Hail Software!<<

    Kya iska yeh matlab hua ki roji roti ka sawaal hai, isiliye software par thoda bahut pyar aata hai.... ? A means of survival as Hitler was for his people?

  • At 10:09 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger Daneshia said…

    Hey Kathak, I ENJOYED READING THAT! You've put in together nicely. Now I'd strongly suggest you to do a series on our this sem subject and classroom scenes! Would be highly entertaining! Esp abt FOC! :)
    Smitha, you are anagramming here too! :)
    And finally I too would say, Software is great! It can coax hardware to do anything and everything!

  • At 10:24 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Danny, thank you! I value your appreciation, as always!

    But I think CN classes are more fun, in spite of that fact that if morder were legal she would be my first victim, but anyway... more so with her patent question "how many layers are there in the OSI...", which she asks a zillion times in one lecture!

  • At 10:25 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Danny, software is great... only if I could move beyond "printf" !!?!!

  • At 10:49 PM, February 24, 2005, Blogger Daneshia said…

    And do you remember her favourite example for everything in CN?: Video conferencing! I tell you, she is in love with video conferencing.

  • At 2:33 PM, February 25, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Danny just video conf?
    What about VoIP? What about e-mail and chatting? What about Mobile Telephony??????

    How can you forget all those other examples? More so when she says "everything is like your e-mail and chatting"

    I'm convinced, she likec chatting more than video conferencing! (Okay, I can think of somethign really corny here... but i'll save that for another time)


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