Ek Kathak Aur Uski Kathayen

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Silence

This was probably the last time they would ever speak. The last time the switch in his local office would route a call to that ever so familiar number. The last the time the switching office would multiplex the data stream for an uplink to that communication satellite. The last time her the MTSO would switch that call to the base station she was in, the last time her LCD would flash the ever so familiar number.

Thats what she was thinking while the phone was ringing. The last call she would probably get from him... she could let the phone ring and not answer it, he would probably call a few more times, a few unanswered calls and he would give up, or not. Or she could end the call there, and he would get the message, which he would anyway have got with the unanswered calls. The only problem being she didn't have any message for him to *get*! Oh well... and there were thousands of dollars worth equipment, switching that call from Chicago to Pune... and considering, that the convoluted statistics including newer ones devised every few seconds by studs out of business school would go down a few decimal places, she might as well answer it. Okay, that was't the only reason but the point here is that she answered the call!

He was pretty much thinking on those lines as well. Sometimes its not a good idea to know what goes on in those air conditioned offices of your phone carrier.

And sometimes its a better idea to let your heart hurt and to feel the pain.

"Congratulations"
"Yeah"

And then a long pause. And a longer pause, and pin drop silence. Silence doesn't really utilise all that bandwidth very efficietly, but then there are those times when you can drop the big words and listen to the silence, for it speaks much more than words ever can.

The silence, spoke, loud and clear of memories burried so far away that they were no longer in focus, till now.
Of the long walk down the road talking about the mundane things of life
Of the ice cream that melted in his hands while he was animatedly explaining concepts from 12th grade physics
Of the 12th grade results, which should never have seen the light of the day!
Of the sitting at the restaurant talking for hours eating saunf
Of the waiters not kicking them out of there
Of the pizza with toppings of last nights left over sabji and chole
Of the never ending instant message chats

The silence, spoke, of things so fresh that even yesterday would be far away
Of their first kiss
Of the fact the the first kiss finally happened after a zillion clumsy attemps
Of playing tennis with a 2" wide freshly healed wound, only for it to re-open
Of the only time she actually let go of all inhibitions and cried in his arms
Of the many seemingly unproductive hours doing nothing, except staying in his arms
Well... they loved each other, and thats what couples in love do, right?
Of the way she could change expression every few seconds
Of their only fight
Of the minutes of silence glaring at each other, when what she needed was not the fight, but a hell lot of love, which he wished for her every living minute.

The silence spoke of things said, spoke of things that were left unsaid.
Of her insecurities
Of her fears
Of her being so stubborn
Of the way he always thought she was his, forever to love and to take care of
Of the perfunctory conversations in the last four years
Of the pain, and the gamut of emotions after those perfunctory conversations

And it didn't just speak of "him" and "her", but it spoke of "them"
Of their dreams, their aspirations, they goals.
Of their time together
Of their time which they couldn't get together

It spoke of the months she longed for him, for his touch, for his being there.
It spoke of his need for her, for her just being around him.
Of the confort zone they had once stepped into, brutally torn apart by that one decision four years ago.

And the silence spoke of the reality, today, after an entire four years, which was his marriage. A committed relationship to someone else, for a lifetime. And while it was at it, it also spoke of a new beginning, a new life. A new journey, new friends, new lovers(!) and a hell lot of fun.

"I'll miss you, like I always do"
His words cut across the silence, like a hot knife cutting through butter. And for what would have been the first time, she said... "I'll miss you too"

And finally the circuit was free to switch another call.

41 Comments:

  • At 12:52 PM, March 02, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    What I got from this piece of post:
    1. You have a good understanding of call routing. No wonder! U r a Communication Engineer.
    2. Don't waste money on ISD calls. Use yahoo voice chat :)

    Itz a nice one to read.

     
  • At 6:53 PM, March 02, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    unlike others this cannot be pure fiction!
    inspired by???


    Agent R!
    (The same bold italics R ;) )

     
  • At 8:21 PM, March 02, 2005, Blogger S m i t h a said…

    this one made me very sad :( was *silenced*....to say the least

    but i shouldn't interfere in Agent R's questioning :) ...it is her jurisdiction or is it?

     
  • At 7:34 AM, March 03, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sudhakar, yahoo voice chat rocks! And who better to know about that than our very own agent R and the lover half way across the globe :))

    Agent R, no interrogation on MY blog!!!!!!

    Smitha, :)

     
  • At 1:58 PM, March 03, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    Agent R has got a lover on the other side of the globe? and they use yahoo voice chat? wow! Thatz cool. Yahoo rocks!

     
  • At 2:40 PM, March 03, 2005, Blogger AmitKen said…

    "And the silence spoke of the reality, today"

    Its sad that 'this' was the reality. and its sad that they themselves chose this reality :(

    the first half which talked technicalities of call routings was the only lighter part, which could not overshadow the darkness of later part of this post.

     
  • At 5:13 PM, March 03, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sudhakar, you didn't know that? Its time I update you ya! Agent R has a bf in the US of A, apparently some big shot code generator... nice guy tho'. And all Agent R does is talk about him day in and day out. Such love... I think I'm going to cry !!!!

     
  • At 5:17 PM, March 03, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    AmitKen, people are strange.

    I tell you... the world is losing all sense of taking decisions.

     
  • At 12:31 PM, March 04, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sudhakar, don't listen to the storyteller. She's a dangerous one... now me and a bf... yeah man! And yahoo voice chat too!!!!

    Well... what do i tell you, its a long story ;)

    And the *bf*, if you're reading this, I really love you!!!

    Love,
    Agent R

    P.S: Kathak's been typing this comment, not me!

     
  • At 12:34 PM, March 04, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Actual Agent R comment starts......

    I've gone insane thinking of what K's been doing... and to think me and K were going to get married! Things some people do to their future spouse, SHOCKING, to say the least.

    And People, there is zero truth about the bf story, K is MAD, and K is a STORYTELLER, which implies K is a MAD STORYTELLER....

    Too confusing, I need a break people. And maybe I'll give the keyboard to Agent R so that she can actually type :D

     
  • At 12:46 PM, March 04, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thanks for finally handing over the keyboard to me Kathak.....
    and now the people out there.....after all this i really am not in a position
    to say anything....
    K the mad storyteller get a life!

    My "bf" as Kathak calls you, please help me !

    Agent R!

     
  • At 1:50 PM, March 04, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    Mr.Bf save me from this K&R(I am not mentioning the writers of C lang).

     
  • At 6:16 PM, March 04, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sudhakar you traitor! You can't ask the bf for help!!!!!!

     
  • At 7:35 PM, March 04, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    Sudhakar you traitor! You can't ask the bf for help!!!!!Why am I a traitor? The title traitor sounds good though!

     
  • At 11:20 PM, March 04, 2005, Blogger Daneshia said…

    Dear Kathak, a wonderful story indeed! You've brought out their feelings perfectly.

    I liked this line the best: "And sometimes its a better idea to let your heart hurt and to feel the pain." Everyone should do it once in a while.

    And I liked the mobile telephony touch that you've given it.

    And dear all Kathak's Readers, my friendly advice to you: Plz ignore the earlier comments by Kathak, Agent R and Actual Agent R [ :) ] - you'll go insane trying to figure out what they are trying to convey, and what they are not trying to convey. And anyways, Agent R's bf! My heart bleeds for you :)

     
  • At 12:10 AM, March 05, 2005, Blogger S m i t h a said…

    Sorry folks.. i missed all the action!
    So who is this bigshot Mr.BF? and why am i not seeing him around??
    and Dan, why does your heart bleed for this guy? Please tell me na twinsie...

    quote of the month: `get a life everyone`

     
  • At 12:52 AM, March 05, 2005, Anonymous Phal said…

    woohoo. very nice. (im feeling very jubuliant, so sad story hasnt got me in pissed off mood.) anyways tehres new beginnings and all, right?

    Agent R's funny.

     
  • At 8:02 AM, March 05, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Danny, thanks!
    I think our HOD will be so proud of me. I can already see teard os pride well up in his eyes! His student, learnt what he taught so well!!!!!!!

    Phal, yes there's new beginnings! Which Agent R do u think is more funny? The actual one, or the proxy Agent R?

    And people, who else to grace my comment board except the bigshot bf himself! I'm honoured sire, that you could take time out of your busy schedule to spend a few moments in here!

    Sudhakar, I think time we go shopping. We need to buy a life... where do you think we'll find one?

     
  • At 11:02 AM, March 05, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh Hell... enoraoda kadsi ore ora hope is not coming to my rescue!

    engayade justice irruka???

    And I'm sure those who need to, have got the message!

    Love,
    Agent R!

     
  • At 1:00 PM, March 05, 2005, Blogger S m i t h a said…

    LOL :) :))
    you girls talk all day about some things and keep the poor BF in the dark... and u expect him to come to ur rescue when called for, huh?
    i pity that poor chap. now i understand why Dan's heart bleeds!

     
  • At 3:15 PM, March 06, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Agent R, no offence meant, but that sounds like desperate talk... sounding like desperate love making talk!!!!!

    Smitha, don't pity the BF... you know, we really really really really really really really really really really love him soooooooooooooooo much!!!

     
  • At 7:31 PM, March 06, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    Hey Mr.Bf why u try to hide away from this. I know u were reading all the things posted here. Open ur eyes and find that the world is not really dark and everyone can see u. Atleast show ur face to smitha.

     
  • At 10:02 AM, March 07, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    To repeat what Smitha has said...

    quote of the month"Get a life everyone".

    Agent R!

     
  • At 10:04 AM, March 07, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And by the way Kathak!
    Have you seen making love online...you see it now!

    Sudhakar don't trouble my poor boyfriend please...

     
  • At 10:24 AM, March 07, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sudha... *repeat* alert ;)

    And Agent R, now have I seen love making online? Speaking of cyber sex? Something like...

    Girl: Harder... ooohhh.... harder...
    Boy: yeah baby... yeah baby

    Thats on the screen of course, off the screen

    Girl: eating an apple, reading the snow white and seven dwarfs in the next window and talking to her proffie (on IM) about the assignment due next Monday
    Boy: Ironing his clothes, that was auto response.

     
  • At 4:46 PM, March 07, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    Oh Sorry Agent R! I will stop troubling your bf now. Sorry Mr.Bf. But stop has a different meaning in some other's dictionary. Which meaning shud I take?

     
  • At 5:38 PM, March 07, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sudha, since Mr. BF at one point in time stated that by saying "STOP" he actually thought it would add fuel to the fire, we can safely assume that is precisely what he wants.

    Now, since his gf is adamant in repeating what he says here and here we can also assume she believes whatever he does.

    So putting 2 and 2 together, I'm sure we can arraive to a grand figure of 3981... whatsay Sudha?

     
  • At 7:06 PM, March 07, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    K, I think u r working too hard these days and u need to get unplugged. Smitha said that "Stop" funda and not Mr.Bf.

    Mr.Bf, ur silence is creating a case of mistaken identity. Watch out! u might lose ur gf if u keep ur mouth shut.

    Everyone, Itz time we search for the shop where we get life. The sentence is *Repeated*

     
  • At 7:59 PM, March 07, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Silence has never been so meaningful before... Can't be all fiction... If it is u r real good at it...

     
  • At 8:00 PM, March 07, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Silence has never been so meaningful before... Can't be all fiction... If it is u r real good at it...

     
  • At 11:12 PM, March 07, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Anon, thanks!

     
  • At 11:15 PM, March 07, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sudha, I think we all need a break. Me, you, Smitha, Agent R... lest we lose the slight vestiges of sanity left in there.

    It would actually be a good idea to go shopping for a life...!!!!! I only hope that its not too expensive to buy one!

     
  • At 1:09 PM, March 09, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    K, speech is silvern but silence is golden. so, we better maintain silence as ur post's title say and go shopping for the life, smitha was talking about.

     
  • At 4:31 PM, March 09, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Sure Sudha... but I'm broke... SOMEONE SPONSOR ME....

    S O M E O N E...................

    Okay, Agent R, Smitha, Sudha, who has cash on them? Who's not yet overdrawn their credit cards?

     
  • At 8:11 PM, March 09, 2005, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    Smitha is earning in $dollars. He shud be able to sponsor the whole world. But will he?

     
  • At 11:28 PM, March 12, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    well kathak there is not much I can say except that you're a great story teller and the best stories in life come from real experiences and nostaglia. Missing someone is only human...sigh. Now I ain't I getting all weird?????
    Love
    G

     
  • At 11:35 PM, March 12, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    well anyway I'm trying to go get a life. By the way I'm confused about something. There is a he agent R and and a she agent R. Agent R got a split personality of sumthin'........:)
    Love
    G

     
  • At 11:41 PM, March 12, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    although I may sound real corny and I may get a get a life response. I think they were lucky to have found love at least once in their lifetime. Not a very easy thing to find. Silence sometimes speaks a hundred times more than words.
    Love
    G

     
  • At 12:03 AM, March 13, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    G, three comments! Thats a huge compliment in itself. And there's just one Agent R, sometimes I proxy comment for her, then we fight over the keyboard!

     
  • At 10:08 AM, March 13, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    well kathak,
    I only wish I could post more often. now that my weekend has officially been switched from Saturday Sunday to sunday and monday maybe I will. By the way Congratulations about your engineering grades I trust you woldn't have done anything but well, although I don't know your grades as of now. Connected I shall be through this blog.for now signing off.
    Lots of love
    G

     
  • At 1:42 PM, March 13, 2005, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    G, make yourself home. I look forward to seeing you around more often!

     

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