Ek Kathak Aur Uski Kathayen

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Trapped

It was another boring day – quite a boring start, or rather a hackneyed start to the afternoon – but that was what her life was relegated to. It was your regular Lazy-Morning-Boring-Afternoon-Evening-spent-waiting-The-night-all-alone routine.

Routine.

Yes that's the word. It was a routine for her. Her routine schedule. The routine she was used to and so on, in that vein. It felt funny, not like the "funny" you feel when you make eye contact with "the" cute guy at the mall, but the fully kind of funny feeling that cannot be explained - its neither happy nor sad, like emotions all pent up, waiting for a trigger to get the right one out.

"Like a vending machine, maybe?"
She said, trying to be helpful to herself, probably.
It was this game she played, where she would talk to herself, and herself would be the stranger. Sometime she'd meet her at the store,

"Hey! What a co-incidence, you also drink Nescafe??!?"
Pretty stupid, you could say, but then it was funny. Probably off the three odd well known brands there was mathematically 33% probability that someone else would also use that brand! But well, for her, and for the "other" her, it wasn't stupid at all!

"Of course, I drink Nescafe, it’s been years. My mom loved Nescafe"
"Ahhh... yes. It’s got this amazing flavor"
"Yeah, and when... oh my... look at that, you're also wearing green"
"Heck... wow! I never noticed it."
"And now you'll tell me you teach Mathema...."
"You mean, you also?? We must be sisters"
And they both got laughing and discussing the intricacies of the Chinese remainder theorem, not because either of them taught mathematics, but because this was jargon she picked up from some website, somewhere.

Then there would be other times she would meet some one else at the hospital. Or at the store, buying maternity gowns.

"Oh it’s such a joy to be a mother!"
She would say to herself aloud. But it was just loud enough for the lady next to her to catch on and smile. And the conversation would go further. She would talk about how she always wants this baby girl. A sweet doll, like no other.
"Boys"!???? She'll exclaim.
"They're just messy pests. I want a daughter, who'll love me like no other"
"You're trying to mend your relationship with your mom, is it", the other lady would ask.
"How rude" she would think and walk away. "Is she a bloody psychologist or what, messing into others personal choices. What a patriarchal society we live in... people only care for boys"
But she wouldn't say that aloud, lest the lady asks "Did you mother want a boy?" "Patriarchal" was another of those internet-picked-up-words!

And so life went on. She met so many people. Neurosurgeons, teachers, software professionals, gym trainers, professional athletes, a cardiologist, pesky housewives, women inflicted with social injustice, and how she'd always want to help them and feel sorry for them. She even met men, at times. When she needed love; needed romance... needed to be touched, kissed, felt wanted, felt loved! Like the boy she met while jogging and the stolen kiss, never to be seen again. Or the ten day romance, during her visit to Calcutta - the guy was a gem of a person, and the way he kissed... mmm....!! Or the boy she met in high school, ten years ago, who still called her secretly and professed his un-dying love for her. And her cute neighbour! Why of course he loves her.
"Have you seen his wife? Balding-fat-wrinkled-face who wears clothes that are two sizes too small for her! How can he even bear her?"
And when she'd see them kissing in the balcony, she'd convince herself it was she who he was kissing.

These conversations never got over. It didn't help she had a vivid imagination and could conjure up the weirdest of scenes! Simply perfect, she'd tell herself after her personal show, take a bow and carry on with life.

"Lonely and trapped in it", and she'd laugh to herself. That's life, afterall!

27 Comments:

  • At 2:30 PM, June 21, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    AAhh... r you feeling very lonely babe?? what a story is this.. heck, darling you need some break. I think you r overworked. Talk to me if you want someone to share...

    Nice lines indeed but I wont encourage you to write somethin like that again. Never!

    :)
    PS: be happy babes, ther s lot more in life to be happy about, than crib over having none in life!

     
  • At 3:02 PM, June 21, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Cindrella... baby I'm a story teller :)

    I tell stories, I write fiction. Needn't be true! Otherwise by now i'd have been a zillion things... lol!!

    Love you!!

     
  • At 3:46 PM, June 21, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    okay okay..point noted... it was well narrated though.. cheers..

    :)

     
  • At 5:34 PM, June 21, 2006, Anonymous amitken said…

    she feels funny, she laughs to herself... still one doesn't feel good about her situation, ironic?

    a story well told :)

     
  • At 6:21 AM, June 22, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Amitken,

    Thanks for the compliment :)
    As for her situation, its this absurd, or rather pretty "ironic" thing, as you said it! Its a little wistful, a litte happy, lots of "well... thats that" kind of a thing :)

    The eng got me grinning though!
    (I read my stories like a third person before publishing them :) )

     
  • At 3:38 PM, June 22, 2006, Blogger S m i t h a said…

    hey kiddo, u've surpassed multiple-writer-levels and gone somewhere! the characterization is just too good.. height of self-induldence, i tell u.. enjoyed it.

     
  • At 3:51 PM, June 22, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Mathi Boy!!
    You're forever a sweetheart :))))

    >:D<
    :*

     
  • At 1:10 PM, June 23, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey I started my first spam.. let it be the publicity of my new baby blog. ppl ppl ppl.. pls visit my blog, dont blame me if u got bugged there. Lol...

    Enjoy.
    Lotsa love!
    :)

     
  • At 9:02 AM, June 26, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    You're spamming my comment board???
    :'(

    Love you (still!!!!)
    :)

     
  • At 1:58 PM, June 26, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    yes.. im spamming ur comment board.. i use it for myself.. as a launchpad.. for watever purpose.. Lol..

    So the readership of this blog, pls comment as much as u can n spam the comment board!!!


    *Wicked grin*

     
  • At 2:03 PM, June 26, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    here i spam again...

    Luv u too sweet heart... darling o mine.. luv u lots....

    :* :* :*

    ;)

     
  • At 11:54 AM, June 27, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    lolololol!!!!
    Too much public display of affection?? But whatthe heck!! Love you all over again :)

     
  • At 4:16 PM, June 27, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Spam all over again..
    Yeppp public display of affection.. when u have affection u gotta show it.. n im not at all shy... Lol..

    so here i go again..Luv u luv u..

    Muaah!!
    :)

     
  • At 3:03 PM, June 29, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Laides n gentlemen, girls n boys n the lazy buggers (the readership of this blog), this is an announcement regarding the attack of cinderella spam bug on the story teller. Kindly secure urself before u access any of the posts of this blog, lest you also end up infecting ur blog with this bug!

    thank you!
    :)

     
  • At 5:51 PM, June 29, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Wow!!
    Let the spam flow ;)

     
  • At 6:51 PM, June 29, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    u r not spamming me!!! how mean!!
    jaao katti.. im not gonna spam too..

    X(

     
  • At 10:08 AM, June 30, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    of course I'm spamming baby!!!
    loL!!!!!

     
  • At 12:43 PM, June 30, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    now u r a good girl!!!
    i spam too i spam too..

    n i spam better than u!! better than u!!!

    hey that s rhyming!! i wrote a poem!! yippeee...
    Lol...
    :))

    **Kisses**n**hugs**

     
  • At 12:46 PM, June 30, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    here i spam again baby!! now u;ve give me all my spirits back... so im on high spirits n hence i spam my way to glory!!!

    My spams will become world famous!! n with that me too!!

    :))
    :P

     
  • At 3:37 PM, June 30, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Heh heh heh!!
    Spam spam spam!!
    lol!!!!

    Let's rename "heh" to "spam"... lol!!!!!!!!

     
  • At 4:18 PM, June 30, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Spam(hey) Sonal,

    Hw r u... im fine..

    spam spam(hey hey), thats a brand new dimension to spamming(heyying perhaps????!!!). that's because of u dear.. you r a darling..
    n spam(hey) do u knw u r sweetheart too... u r helping me find new stuff in spamming(heyying)

    thx for that hey(spam) n spam(hey) convertion theory stuff.. was cool though!! shall b using it from now on!!

    i luv u lots for giving me new ideas!
    :)

     
  • At 4:23 PM, June 30, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    now according to my convenience i renamed hey to spam!!! okie..
    now evryone accept it!

     
  • At 7:26 PM, July 02, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    spam, spam spam, i have posted somethin new.. now i want comments!! u r gonna read my blog now.. yes i mean right now!!
    N hey tell me hws the post besides heyying me... haha u knw wat i mean dont u???

    ;)

     
  • At 3:46 PM, July 09, 2006, Blogger Daneshia said…

    hmm........ :)
    nice one........
    lonely and trapped........

     
  • At 6:15 PM, July 10, 2006, Blogger Sudhakar said…

    Alter ego???? ;)

     
  • At 7:48 PM, July 10, 2006, Anonymous Abinav said…

    W O W ...

     
  • At 10:27 AM, July 11, 2006, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said…

    Danny, Abinav, :)
    Charlie, :O

     

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