Ek Kathak Aur Uski Kathayen

Friday, January 21, 2005

The journey of a loner in just another engineering college

From the skinny uncouth instrumentation engineering graduate to the Hep Sandy! He's probably been gymming, managed a total makeover - hep clothes, style and (something I always notice) neat footwear!

From a lecturer who couldn't in one semester explain the basics of measurement to the (ahem...) professor who explained how a sampling oscilloscope down converts the input frequency with eloquence and finesse.

From the throwing chalks and "yes you, stand up and tell me how the transducer converts the flow of water to an electrical signal" to the guy who manages to laugh at his mistakes and laugh along with us and manages a few PJs in the process.

Sandy has travelled miles, and a pretty decent journey, in my not so humble opinion!

But then there are those things that never change. Like after one of his attempts to explain a particular concept, the eerie silence is broken by a voice that says "excuse me sir" or probably just a tentative "sir" Sandy goes like "yeah"? Please note the "yeah" and not "yes" ! And by the end of it you've forgotten your question. The "yeah" has so much emotion (!!) to it that you could practically melt in his arms ;-)

It conjures the image of Sandy on his bed, thinking about some international issue, a woman half onto him *the morning after* and after some time groggily says "Sandy", part tentatively, part asleep, part not knowing she's talking to him, part wanting to say something to him (Women........!!!) and good old Sandy with all thats left of him says "yeah baby"?

And by then if you can "Sir, wouldn't this method of down conversion have its drawbacks, such as in case of a non periodic signal?" you deserve a letter of commendation!

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Never, never again!

1) I have this obsessive compulsive disorder to speak a little tooooooo much, always!
2) I also have an obsessive compulsive disorder to answer to professors in class... even when they ask questions where they do not want any answers.
3) Next is to ask waaayyyyyy to many questions.
4) Also to display my knowledge (or the lack thereof, in the process putting my rather large foot in my mouth... remember that chat Smitha? )

And so it goes...

And then there's this professor... we call him the IT God, and that has nothing to do with Information Technology. He's the "In The Good Old Days" guy! Dan also calls him the YSA guy... because he adds "You See Always" to every statement he makes.

For instance, "Medium wave propogation is used to radio, you see always"

Alternately, "Just because you heard the term line of sight propogation once it does not mean you use it everywhere, you see always"

Or even, "If I interview communication engineers like you, I'll get you out of my office at once, you see always"

But thats not what the rant is all about, although it could have been what the rant was all about!

Its been some 6-7 classes the man's taken, and he's got his amazing ability to not hear what you answer, and later say the same thing all over again... makes you want to scream in exasperation! It doesn't help that I keep opening my big mouth with such regualarity that it would put Shekhar Suman to shame. And the one off times he does manage to hear what you said, I can bet you my first salary it was something wrong! (Please note, I said I *can* bet, but never mentioned anything about actually betting)

It also doesn't help that the man's so touchy about everything, and rather than giving an answer he's more interested in proving how wrong the rest of the world is. Yes, I do understand he's been into communications ever since times immortal and is the GOD of Television Engineering and knows every fucking waveform better than Michael Schumacher knows the racing line at Sepang but that doesn't change the fact that the other professors have been doing their job, and to the best of their capability! (I wonder why I'm suddenly feeling so over-protective to a fellow I almost consider an idiot)

My point being?
Today, after innumerable not-being-heard scenarios to foot-in-mouth rather way too much, my good friend Agent R told me "yaar, tu apna bada mooh band hi rakh!"

I think I should take the Agent's advice, else like another friend of mine "Saturday", as you might know her from a few posts earlier, would say I would once end up telling the fellow (which I almost did today) "toh mein kya kannadi mein bol rahi thi"!


On the positive side... there's this pesky woman in my class. Ms-know-it-all who doesn't know anything! (It doesn't help I consider myslef along with a handful of others like Dan, Saturday, the immortal bf's girl R, and an interim topper GD too good for my class, but thats another blog.)

On the first lecture the IT GOD asks, "so, why do you want to study consumer electronics? "

I really DO not want to, but its been forced upon me, and fortunately (in hind sight) I didn't say anything, but Ms-know-it-all comes up with "So that we can repair out home appliances"

Err.... whatever...

To which the IT GOD replies "there's this proverb in english, you see actually. Failure is not a crime, low aim is. So you should be thinking of yourself as desiners and engineers and not repair technicians blah blah blah......... "


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Once upon a time in la la land

There lived these guys... they were called 555 timers. These guys were absurd and for apparently no rhyme or reason could get astabe and into sustained oscillations!! (Sudhakar, here's your oscillator!!)

Well... that was once upon a time, till they didn't stumble on these priceless jewels. Rings so magnificent, that they couldn't resistor.... err... resist them!

For those of you more electrically inclined, who go all orgasmic at the thought of telling the value of the resistance by counting the rings on it, here's a brighter look

One timer said he wanted them for his significant other, while the other timer wanted them for his! What followed was a fist fight, a sword fight, and everything short of nuclear warfare... It would end there, but trust electronics and telecommunication engineers to be the idiots. (There Pearl, I said it. Now you needn't stereotype engineers as idiots).

Due to lack of managerial involvement, there is nothing much documented, but folks out there believe some crazy buding engineer subjected it to very high DC voltage under the influence of narcotics. Some people also believe that while the crab was recuperating, the engineer managed to subject the ground point to +15 volts and the DC supply point to 0 volts.

Some more theories say the engineer wasn't responsible, but no one knows anything. Nothing at all. All that is concrete is this.

The timers living the life of crabs.
With one of them handicapped.

Pretty sad eh?
Timers that would have helped some robotic mouse to solve a maze were living the lives of crabs. And some silicon yeilding zilch productivity!!

Who's fault was it?
Mine... because I designed the jewels?
Danny's... because a year ago she introduced me to the concept of these jewels?
The 555 timers for being so silly?

Of course any new/amusing/interesting conspiracy theories are welcome :-)