Ek Kathak Aur Uski Kathayen

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

A monologue

Note: Guys really sorry about the mess up... for those who read the post when blogger messed up... deleted half my post for no rhyme or reason.

Have I ever told you how much I loved you?
Maybe I never told you enough, maybe I can't tell you ever
Everything I have ever done, or will do had been for you alone
No, I did not mix my tenses with "will do had been for you"

Of course it has been for me also
But it always sought your approval... subconsciously
Because you meant a lot for me, more than anyone else could
I told you once, years ago...
I iterate and reiterate "no one can ever fill you shoes"
I could have fought the world for you... alone
Because you were my world, you were everything for me

You made me smile... laugh
You made me feel worthwhile... wanted... needed
Secure... invincible... respected... loved
You were my confidence
My back up plan... my fall back
My best friend - The worst critic
My Strength
My biggest weakness

Does loving you entail loving *everything*?
Do you know what love is?
Does it need courage? Or do you just love?
Is love another abstract, or is it tangible?
Can you love the dead?
Another obsession?
It all began with you - not just metaphorically
It all did end with you, once again literally

Is there life after death?
Do hero's make grand comebacks?
Do you really think you control everything in your life?
Life is best unplanned?
Does that also imply plans can go horribly wrong?
Like parasitic capacitances that were never on the designer's mind.
What if someone else writes the end - or the last chapter?
What if?

But the end of a chapter is not the end of the book
Will you make a comeback, back in the present tense
Will you come back to "are" from "were"
The game is not over... yet
Not the final curtain
It's never over till the fat lady sings
After all, the phoenix did rise from its own ashes
Can you?

Monday, April 25, 2005

PMs residence, for 35 million rupees

That's what it sold for, on eBay!

But what never fails to amuse me is how gullible Americans can get. Sometime in early 2004/late 2003 (or maybe earlier) some American fell for a woman who mailed in Aishwarya Rai's pictures to him. Can't recall whether he sent her air tickets or flew down himself, but whatever!

God save America!

Update: Located the link, it was October 2003 and the fellow sent $1400 to the woman in question

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Google Baba kahein

Beta... tumhari search history, abh mere server pe hai!

Abh sare bolo, Google Baba ki Jai!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

The lady in Red

He almost called out to the lady in front of him.

It was the last day of engineering college, the formal farewell. The mood was set, the DJ playing some really awesome tracks and the graceful ladies walking in, in their shimmering sarees. The men also looked decent, it was after all their last chance at these women they were with for four years of their lives! It was some 30 minutes after the party began that he noticed her walk in.

She wasn't beautiful, not conventionally beautiful! But she had something about her that made everyone notice her. She had this air of confidence that was unparalled. The way she carried herself, her smile, her voice, her questions, her answers, each and everything she did in college. And he realised, today she looked gorgeous.

He could see her hesitate as she was entering the lawns. Hesitate - was something he never had seen her do... not even in those scary practical examinations or the viva's. To quote the lady "When you don't know, you throw a bucketful of bull... trust me, it always works!" He couldn't figure if she was unsure of whether she looked fine - you know, girls have this obsession with their looks- though she was never one for all that, but all said and done, she was a woman... or if it was some unknown thought that made her hesitate - so like a woman. "A woman", he mused. He should have been laughing he realised, but he was in stead, staring at this woman a few feet away from him with a longing smile on his face.
Her white saree with all the sequence work on it shimmering in halogen lights all over. The diamonds in her ears were sparkling, and there wasn't much of anything else she was wearing that could sparkle till she noticed him coming to escort her in and smiled. That smile on her face made him smile. That smile could not only light her face, but the entire evening!

"Tonight, I shall speak to her"
he resolved after she left his side and mingled with the crowd.
And the resolve grew stronger by the minute.
As he watched her move - oh so gracefully!
As he saw her speak with everyone around her.
As he saw her hug each and every of her classmates - all except him. He was scared of being around her. Scared that if she hugged him, he would never let her go.
As he saw her move to the music.
As he saw her get high on the music.
As he saw her totally lose herself in the music.

Each and every moment, he just found himself falling more and more a victim to her charms while she moved around totally unaware of her spell.

Today, he saw the lady looking just as lovely as she did that night. Today the lady was in red; red with the gold work shimmering in the halogen lights. The diamonds in her ears, hands, neck all sparkling with a light that was almost blinding. The lady, he knew had made it big she always was a go-getter. Aggeressive and ready to the way for herself when there was none. He would know of course, he kept track of everything she did... each and every tiny detail, probably more than he ever kept track of his life!

The day he saw her in white, she was on way to a new beginning. Today Avni was walking towards the start of another new life. And yes, that hesitation in her steps was there again. The same hesitation he saw once before. He almost wanted to run upto her and escort her, as she walked towards another journey, another beginning. Another world where she would be introduced as this man's better half, as his wife, as someone's daughter-in-law and probably as someone's mother. As he saw her stop, and hesitate one more time before she walked up he almost called out to her, only to realise his bride deserved to take her own time with this one.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Flat and Fiat

You know how it is with placements? The companies with huge brand value, which of course equates to peanuts as salaries, come in first pick up the *toppers*, the young, smart dynamic kids and walk away; when they can really do without them! And the rest of the populace is left trying to make do with whatever they can salvage.

Now if you forward to say, 10 years later where we have topper meets dud who actually flunked M1, M2, Mechanics and Graphics so many times over that the dud spent a couple of extra years just clearing them while the topper guy was enjoying with 78s and the like in the subject, when all that was required was a 40, dreaming of beaches, fast cars, palatial bunglows and fictitious net worth statements.

Dud: Hey!!!!
Topper: Oh hi!
Dud: And life...
Topper: Going on. I'm doing well enough for my family. I managed to buy a 2 bedroom flat and this 1976 fiat. The car isn't like the Optra's and the CRVs of today, but life is going on smooth enough. How about you?
Dud: Oh, I had a bad time after graduating. You know how it was. I cleared engineering in 7 years, had so many marksheets that I needed multiple files for carrying them to interviews and then no one really wanted me. None of your Infosys types - that's where you were right?
Topper: Uh huh
Dud: (still carrying on in his own vein) ...so none of them took me. After a year of being rejected and dejected I took my uncle's advice and started my own business. My uncle was smart, he told me "Son, remember, keep a low profit margin of say 3-5% and focus on turnover as a greater turnover translates into higher returns over the years". So I took his advice and started my own business. Initial investment needed was practically nil.
Topper: (with eyes as big as they can get, yet trying to keep his voice as *normal* as possible) What kind of business?
Dud: Oh nothing grand... Just some re-packaging of small goods... but it was a pot of gold, I tell you! I'm currently valued at 50 Million and do not regret those engineering days at all! I buy these items for 2 rupees and sell them at 5 rupees, with a profit margin of 3%....

3% indeed! While our topper contends himself with flat and fiat!

Saturday, April 09, 2005

The strange ways of a stranger world

I come across this fellow.
I guess a nice fellow, working for a certain company.
So far so good.
Off hand, the possibilities I can think of are:
a) He could be studying (or pretending to, like I do)
b) He could be working
c) He could be between jobs (or laid off from his last one)
d) He could be looking for a job (or an IQ so low that even a BPO wouldn't hire him)

Fortunately (for him, I figure) we have scenario (b)
The fellow works for this software company, generating as much code as any human code generator humanly could. After all he has a family to feed and all that (okay, that wasn't needed, but it adds to the dramatic effect). Now since he works for a company, it goes without saying that the company should have a name. To protect his identity (or for self amusement... take your pick) I shall call the company Mathematics (I was initially thinking of calling the company Algebra, but Mathematics rhymes with the actual name of the company... besides the fact that had I not been on way to become an engineer I would probably have been a mathematician, and the fact that... oh well... its getting too big inside these brackets)

I have as always gone away from the main point. So I shall steer back on course. And to give you a quick recap :
1. We have a fellow
2. He's working
3. For a company called Mathematics

Now to proceed further:
He has a friend, from the same company (Nothing unusual, I hear you say). Lets call the friend Mr. Bee (That has no resemblance to the friends name, I just didn't want to name him Aye, which also FYI has no resemblance to his real name in any case.)

Now, another fine day, I'm on the treadmill when I see this girl. To tell you all a secret, I have this obsessive compulsive talking disorder (alright, it ain't a defence secret but there is a possibility that one in a zillion pea brained fellow didn't know the fact) and I get chatting with her. So we talk about what I do and what she does and all, when

Me: So you staying in a hostel?
Girl: No, with my brother.
Me: So, what does he do?
Girl: He's working.
Girl: For a company called Mathematics
And there I go like WTF????!!!!?????
Of course I wasn't all that visibly dramatic. Just for general knowledge I ask the girl, "What is his name?"
And she tells me "Mr. Gee"
And I stock this up with other trivia (which includes the fact that the hotel room where the code generator I was speaking about stays has an internet speed of 11Mbps)

Then on another fine day I go through Mr. Code Generators Orkut profile, and the profile of his good friend Mr. Bee and who do I see? Our very own Mr. Gee!!!!!

And I think "six degrees of separation"

Up till now, we have with us, 3 fellows, all working for the same company. I could even digest Mr. Gee (For the record that was a figure of speech, I'm very much vegetarian and do not advocate cannibalism) but now what happens? I go a walking with my friend and right near my house, like say 80-100 metres away I see this lovely couple walking hand in hand and and and what does that I-Card around their neck read? What other than "Mathematics!!" (phew!)

But dear readers, that is not the end of my post. There's more coming up.
So I'm in the gym again. And I say hi to this girl. And she says hi, and the usual social niceties follow. And then the usual drill:
"What do you do?"
"I'm studying, final year engineering"
"What branch?"
"Electronics and Telecommunication"
I didn't add I'm Rank #6 lest she felt I was a little immodest and all that. After a few seconds of untying the shoe laces and getting out of the right shoe and working on the socks (I have these interesting stories about the holes in my socks, but there's always next time) I ask her,
"So, what do you do?"
"I'm working"
"Errr.... with?"
Why did I bother asking. I should have simply assumed.

But then like my dad says "never assume anything".
I decided, a new day; new philosophy; no assumptions.

Now I'm in college, and someone is discussing her brother with her friends. So I happened to overhear a part of the conversation (So sue me) and this babe's telling, "Oh... he's just joined Mathematics" I thought it was just me, maybe I'm hearing things so I barge in rather impolitely and ask "What company was that again?" A totally bewildered girl says "Mathematics"... And I walk away, incoherently muttering my apologies and a couple of obscenities along with them.

Sorry dad, but next time I meet someone, I think I'll just assume they work for Mathematics. And since I'm currently speechless I shall say what Danny would have said had she been me "lekin yeh sabh mujhpe kyon gire?"

Sunday, April 03, 2005

The art of keeping secrets

I have a friend, lets call her A (She's R, but humour me)
I have another friend, lets call him B (He's actually M, but humour me again)
And then there's a another guy called C (He's actually... please humour me)
So we have 2 guys, 1 girl but no pizza place! (No, I've never seen the show, only heard the trailors years back when I used to watch 'friends' like once in a couple of months on Star World)

So I tell A that I'll fix her up with C, tho' I had initially *fixed* her up with B. So she likes the joke (and there I was serious... actually... humour me people.) So so so, she tells B that she found a new guy for herself called C and and and she told me to "play the game". A totally heart broken B asks me and I tell him "It's actually a joke, but don't tell her I told you." Ofcourse B was happy that A still belongs to him. Then people, I meet A. Then I A, that I told B the truth and told him not to tell you... so... whatever!

Yes people, I do know I'm a genius!

As an update to my last post, I'm no longer dreaming of transformers but of food. (People not from Pune, the places may be alien to you, but you could still read on.) I get these surreal visions of pani puri from deepak, onion kachories from ozone... heck even the rasgulla's from ozone and the bengali mithai from mithaas... chole bhature and basket chat from manmeet, idli's from this tapri near my college, pav bhaaji from the "chowpati" in camp, hakka noodles from chinese room, sizzlers from The Place, choco-dip from smowball, kulfi from a place called shiv kailash near Pune Station, frozen pizza from pizza hut (yeah, I love pizza kept over night in the fridge)....chocolate cake from bakers basket (Find me another chocolate cake as good as the ones they make... I challenge you people of the world), vanilla ice cream and mango mastani from sujata... In fact, the tapri's near the chatushrungi temple also are pretty decent with chinese and even the kulfi... I think I'll stop here... more so since i need to get rid of those visions that i get out of no where!

On a positive note, its not transformers any longer!
But I want that pani puri... :((

Saturday, April 02, 2005

SOS for help!

People, I need help, I really do. Like the kind of help a human being would humanly need when confronted with a screwy project. Don't get me wrong (Potential Employers, HR personnel, the next sentence is for you) I do enjoy working on my project. I really do - like passionate about my project and all that jazz and unfortunately (for others) get too passionate about my work, but that besides, it is SOS time when I find myself dreaming of transformers! Yes people of the world, I am dreaming of transformers; the ones that step down 230V AC to 16V AC with a current rating of 60mA. In my dreams these guys actually blow off in the middle of a desert with no one around except a few other electrical/electronic components and they PCB on which they reside... blow off with a big fire in which you could cook your evening meal. This, when I should be dreaming of sexy young men making love on the moonlight beach with the waves lapping at the feet!

On another note, have you heard of the
Small World Phenomenon? I managed to prove the hypothesis and think I'm onto something really big! Anyone with no work to do, do get in touch with me, we'll use this to kill time and probably find newer ways for the same!!! (People please note the innovative method for hankering for mails, someone could use the hint - it's SOS....!!!)